Careless Hearts
by OhGeeFantasy
Summary: ENTRY IN THE LYRICS TO LIFE CONTEST. Love shows up and bends under the pressure of two hearts: one careful, the other careless. How much can Love take when it comes between best friends, before it breaks? I AM CONTINUING THE STORY
1. Chapter 1

**This is my entry for the Lyrics to Life Contest. I'm happy to announce that it won for Best Supporting Character. My wonderful beta Daphodill already has chapter 2 in her hands. I'm not sure of the posting schedule for this fic, but I will sure try my best to write as much as I can. Thank you to all that read, reviewed and voted for my fic. I'm so HAPPY! **

**Careless Hearts**

**Rating: M**

**Careless by Amos Lee**

watch?v=QBMJsiLSt6w

**Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Summary: **_**Love**_** shows up and bends under the pressure of two hearts: one careful, the other careless. How much can **_**Love**_** take when it comes between best friends, before it breaks?**

I remember the first time I laid eyes on Edward and Garrett, in that stuffy classroom lined with chalkboards and desks in rows like toy soldiers. They were sitting in the far row next to the wall of windows, sunlight shining in on them, illuminating their bodies like they were angels there to take care of me. Garrett smiled, while Edward had trouble meeting my eyes. I was told to take a seat, so I gripped my lunchbox and took the only available one next to the smiling boy that made me feel instantly comfortable, and the green eyed boy that made my stomach twist in knots and my heart feel funny. Little did I know that the three of us would be inseparable, and that those boys would change me forever. How could I have known all these things? I was a sixth grader for God sake. We were fast friends from the word _GO_, until …

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Bella squatted by the side of the dirt road to relieve herself. She had to pee so bad that she had asked the guys to pull over. Just as she pulled up her pants, tires kicked up dirt and she was staring at tail lights.

"Edward, Garrett, it's not funny. Stop!" Bella ran down the road after her two best friends who had taken off in Edward's pickup truck without her. They weren't really going to ditch her, only tease her a little bit. Every time she would catch up to the truck, Edward punched the gas. Both boys laughed at her, making her laugh as well. She stopped running, bending at the waist laughing, and then flipped them the bird. Finally, they relented and let her back into the cab of the truck. They nudged her with their elbows, still teasing. Next time, she swore she would just hold it, or not drink as much Dr. Pepper at the movies.

"When we graduate next month, will you both still be this immature?" She faked disdain, and tried to hide her cheesy smile.

"Probably so."Garrett snickered, pulling a strand of her hair.

"Bells, if we didn't give you crap you'd think we didn't love you anymore," Edward added.

Edward, Garrett, and Bella were the three amigos. They had been friends for years, and she loved the easy way the three of them fit together, like pieces of a puzzle. Bella had girlfriends, but she preferred hanging out with the boys. They knew how to have fun, so that's what Bella did most weekends: she hung with Edward and Garrett. They never minded either. Bella completed their trio. It was always a given that Bella would be right there with them.

As the years passed from grade school to high school, Garrett became more of the brother Bella never had. She knew she could count on him for anything. He picked her up before school and ate lunch with her in the cafeteria. He fought many a fights for Bella, when other boys paid too much uninvited attention to her. He was loyal to a fault.

Edward, on the other hand, made Bella's heart flutter. He was tall, handsome, and Bella thought he had the most endearing crooked smile and the most brilliant evergreen eyes. He had a mess of copper top hair that Bella wanted to run her fingers through, but she never worked up the courage. He also was a loyal friend and didn't take kindly to boys making eyes at her. He had a soft spot for Bella, but she never caught on, always believing his protectiveness was because of the tight bond they shared. Bella loved when Edward fought a good fight in her honor. She never told him, though. Instead, she secretly thought of him as her knight in shining armor. Edward was the total package. He made Bella's heart melt like ice cream, on a hot summer's day.

Edward and Bella had a habit of late night phone calls with one another. Both would tell a secret—a hope, or a dream. It was the highpoint of their conversations, but neither one ever shared the most important secret, hope, or dream: the feelings they had for one another. Instead, they continued to play their game over the phone, wishing the other to say something that might change the status of their friendship to an exclusive relationship. On a few occasions, Bella slipped up, tongue tied and declaring his beauty.

"You're beautiful, Edward." Bella's thoughts escaped her mouth before her brain could stop her. She slapped her hand over her mouth, not believing she had blurted out those words.

"What?" Edward questioned, chuckling. His pulse thundered through his body at her admission.

Laughing and turning crimson red, Bella blew Edward off. "You know you're a pretty boy, Edward Masen." Thankfully, he was on the other end of the phone, miles away, and couldn't see the shade of red she had turned. Bella sort of lied, he wasn't only beautiful; she thought he was gorgeous.

Edward, too, slipped once or twice, during their phone calls, using endearing names like _sweetheart _or _love_. Bella would stop speaking after catching the endearing words that had flowed out of Edward's mouth. It was music to her ears. She was overjoyed, and at a loss for words for a split second, upon hearing how natural those words sounded to her ears. Thrills shot through her body. Edward laughed, but a part of his heart froze, mistaking her pause for rejection. He had always wanted to hear how _love_ and _sweetheart_ sounded rolling off his tongue when it referred to Bella. The words came easily and naturally, making his heart pound, the words 'would you be my girlfriend' sit at the tip of his tongue.

"Um, Bella … I was just wondering if … you would want to, you know … go out with me?" Edward held his breath for a few seconds. When she didn't respond, his stomach flipped, making him feel sick.

"Bella? Hello?" It was then he heard her soft snores. It was the sound of her sleeping peacefully. He closed his eyes, imagining that he was lying next to her, holding her tightly to his chest. He reluctantly hung up the phone, after whispering, "_goodnight, Love." _He hoped his courage didn't waver; he'd try again another time, perhaps in person. Another obstacle was, that Garrett seemed to always be with them, a third wheel, since the three of them drove to school together, and then home again, it was nearly impossible to get Bella alone.

So, Edward and Bella continued their late night calls, depending on them, because they had developed a special bond while deepening their knowledge of the other.

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Right out of high school, the three amigos separated, following their own paths. Edward joined the military while Garrett took over his family's construction business. Bella went to the community college and got a degree in General Studies. She didn't quite know what she wanted to do with her degree or her life. She ended up staying in Small Town, USA and hung out with her friend, Garrett, wishing that their third amigo was with them. But Edward was off fighting wars. So, she went about her life, working at Newton's hardware store and hanging on to each Skype conversation she and Edward had. They wanted to keep the late night phone call tradition alive, even though Edward was thousands of miles away. They still had not come clean with one another about their feelings, but the butterflies in Bella's stomach had multiplied over the years each time she spoke with Edward. Just the anticipation of each call sent her body in overdrive. Each time they spoke via Skype, the sight of his messy hair, crooked smile, and the way he rubbed his chin during their conversation, sent tingles through her body, making her blush, like he was reading her mind. On several occasions, Edward asked if she was feeling well because of her pink cheeks. Bella would bite her lip, and nod her head saying she felt just fine. Bella wondered how long it would take for Edward to finally clue in to the tale tell signs of her being head over heels for him.

The same went for Edward; his body was like an alarm clock, set for Bella. His fingers would twitch knowing it was time to dial her number, and have their nightly conversations. Each time wanting to reach through his computer screen, and touch Bella in ways he had dreamt of for far too long, hold her, kiss her, and tell her precisely how he felt.

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**.**

**Ten years after high school graduation**

The silent, dark night was calming, that's why he usually ended up in this same spot most nights of the week.

"Hell, what am I doing? I can't do this anymore," Garrett thought out loud. The only ears that heard his words belonged to his dog, Jake. His old dog raised an eyebrow and cocked his head at him as if to say, _you know damn well what you're doing_, before laying his scruffy head back down on the soft grass and closing his eyes.

"I should kick my own ass for never telling Bella how I feel about her; it's my own damn fault. Now, Ed's in romance mode, probably lighting candles and shit as I sit here and talk to my damn dog … sorry, Jake." Jake's ear lifted telling his master he heard.

The drink Garrett held in his hand, numbed his fingers, while the alcohol warmed his insides. Sitting in the dark in the solitude of his backyard had become a ritual of sorts as he tried to deal with his feelings for Bella. He stretched out in the hammock and closed his eyes, deep in thought. One hand clutched his heart, the other the glass with his half drunk Screwdriver.

_Each time Edward leaves, I'm put in the same fucking position to watch over Bella. It wasn't so bad at first; I loved spending time with her. At least I got Bella all to myself. _Garrett closed his eyes tightly, wishing away all his thoughts about Edward and Bella.

Thoughts of Bella made him dizzy, or maybe it was the vodka in his drink, whatever it was, he was a little drunk. As the years passed, there was a noticeable shift in Bella's reactions where Edward was concerned. Garrett noticed Bella got a bit more excited when speaking of Edward's Skype calls. She'd twirl her hair and almost bounce with excitement when she spoke of him. He wanted to roll his eyes, but he never did. Instead, he just listened and cringed when she acted like a giddy school girl.

Garrett thought it was plain as day how _he_ felt about her, even though he had never come right out and said it. He purposefully stood a bit too close to Bella, lightly touching her arm when they were out in public, or putting his hand on the small of her back, silently staking his claim. His closed mouth smiles felt seductive to him, but when he smiled that smile at her, she never clued in. The obviousness could have slapped her in the face, in his opinion, but still, she never caught on. Instead, she continued to act like he was her brother, nothing more.

Garrett didn't think he would ever come completely clean with his feelings towards Bella. He never wanted to jeopardize their friendship. She was too important to him, to lose her. Her presence in his life was wonderful, yet unbearable. The way she laughed at his jokes, smiled and flipped her hair when she told funny stories to him, pinched and played with her earlobe while they watched scary movies, it was the little things that added so much to his life. She fit comfortably and he cared for her, and didn't want to live without her, that much he was aware of. However, it seemed she couldn't live without Edward.

Life wasn't fair. The girl he wanted was within arm's reach, yet miles away.

At about the same time that Bella started showing interest in Edward, Garrett noticed how Edward started changing. All the years they had been friends, never once had he acted like there was anything other than a friendship with Bella. Edward had his pick of any girl, and usually had a plethora of them around. But, when Edward started casually bringing Bella up in conversation, that's when he knew Bella would likely never be his. He never stood a chance against Edward Masen. All girls fell head over heels for Edward's crooked smile and charming ways, as far back as he could remember. He internally kicked himself for waiting too long to make his feelings known to Bella. He was chicken shit for not coming clean years ago. He didn't have the guts to tell her how he truly felt.

Gulping down the last swig of his Screwdriver, he drifted off to sleep in the hammock attached to the tree in his backyard. Sleep wasn't a reprieve for him. Bella danced through his unconscious thoughts; she was always on his mind. Her sweet laugh reverberated in his ears, even in slumber. He enjoyed tickling her just so he could hear her high pitched squeals. He also loved the way she tucked her hair behind her right ear, or chewed her lip with her front teeth when she was nervous. He had memorized all her little quirks and mannerisms. And her scent—her scent was delicious. He could smell her, even in his dreams. Her unique scent always took him back to the sixth grade when she moved to town, her desk sat next to his. He noticed that she would apply Cotton Candy Lip Smacker on her lips, throughout the day. He could practically taste her sweet, soft lips, even though his had never had the pleasure of touching them. Only in his dreams. He always smelled cotton candy; it was his favorite flavor for as long as he had known Bella.

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**.**

Edward's kitchen window was open, and his stereo speaker sat on the window sill playing soft music, into the backyard. He wanted a romantic setting for Bella. This was the first time he had ever planned, and pulled off, such a special date for a girl.

"Love, close your eyes." His velvety voice was music to her ears. She felt Edward's calloused hand covering her eyes as he lead her to the gazebo in his backyard. Her eyelashes touched the rough patches on his palms.

"Baby, where are you taking me?" Her breath was shallow in anticipation.

"If I told you I'd ruin the surprise, wouldn't I?" He kissed the back of Bella's head.

"Now open." He took his hand off her eyes and turned slightly toward her to gage her reaction.

Bella gasped. "Edward! It's beautiful!" Her hand covered her mouth in shock.

"Do you like?" His voice was low and sexy.

"I love!" She jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his body as he carried her to the gazebo he had decorated with white candles of all sizes and shapes. Every candle was lit, and flickered in the light breeze. Edward's array of candles lit up the yard with a yellow glow.

"Who are you? Martha Stewart?" She peppered his cheeks, lips, and neck with kisses. "What's going on?" She questioned as she pulled her face away from his skin.

"I wanted to romance my best girl. Is that all right with you, Love?"

She nodded her head, giggling as she lightly bit the sensitive lobe of Edward's ear, then sucked it into her mouth. His body responded with goose bumps and a shiver down his spine every time Bella sucked on his ear.

"This is breathtaking, baby." She cupped his face with her delicate hands and placed a lingering kiss on his lips.

"Here, sit down." He set her at the picnic table he had covered with a white table cloth, and sat right next to her. He had two champagne glasses and a bottle of Perrier Jouet champagne at the ready.

After uncorking Bella's favorite champagne and pouring each of them a glass, he handed his sweet girl some bubbly, and made a toast.

He held Bella's small hand in his much bigger calloused one, rubbing circles on her satiny skin. She was the perfect image of his ideal woman. Soft curves in all the right places, with milk chocolate brown eyes silently begging for his touch, he could get lost in those eyes for days. He swore he could see straight through to her soul. Her love and devotion to him was evident, the way she squeezed his hand gently, telling him without words that she loved him. Her gentle gestures made his heart soar, making him high on her love.

"To the absolute _best_ summer of my life." Edward paused, taking a breath before continuing. "For years I've dreamt of you becoming mine, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would become reality. I think I've loved you ever since you walked into Mrs. Cope's sixth grade classroom." One of Edward's cheeks rose as he gave her his crooked grin. "I love you with all my heart, Isabella Swan. Thank you for making my dreams come true." Unshed tears lined Bella's eyes, the corners of her perfect pink lips turned up into the sweetest smile. Edward's heart pounded with love and adoration for the beautiful girl, who, not long ago, he had only been able to call friend.

Bella leaned forward pressing her lips to his, she whispered into his mouth, "Happy three month anniversary, baby." Her sugar sweet voice sent a thrill to the tips of all his nerve endings. Her tongue sought his, sucking it into her mouth, teasing him. He gently pulled away, to clink his glass with her's, then sipping his champagne, Bella followed his lead, fluttering her eyelashes at him. He knew that was her way of coming on to him, so he would take it from there.

"I have another surprise for you, Love." He took a hold of her hand and walked her to the barn that was lit with lanterns and where he had spread a blanket over a few hay bales. Her eyes were open wide with curiosity. They had made love in the barn before, but never had he spread a blanket out and lit lanterns. But the times before weren't planned. They had gone to the barn in search of fishing poles, but quickly got side tracked. Bella found herself, more than once, being made love to against the tractor.

In this moment though, Edward led her to the hay bales, looking deeply into her eyes. No words were worthy enough to describe how beautiful she was to him. His hands smoothed over Bella's back, traveling lower. He dipped his finger into the denim waistband of her jeans, earning him a low moan. She was putty in his hands. Since they had been together, he had memorized every inch of her body, knowing just how to work her up and turn her on. He was rock solid, anticipating the inevitability of her warm, wet center. She finished undressing herself, with Edward's help, and then he laid her down on the soft blanket. He reached into his pocket to retrieve her gift, before taking off his jeans. Bella pulled him closer, begging him to make love to her.

"Please baby, I need you. Now." Her breath was but a whisper.

Edward was more than happy to oblige. He had planned a surprise and luckily it was going just as he had imagined.

"You want me, Love?" He kissed her neck, taking his cock in his hand and teasing her pussy with the head. Her slit was wet and ready, for him. He moaned in anticipation.

''Yes, Edward. Now! I need you so badly." Her lips were kissing and sucking at his neck and chest. Her pelvis was lifting and grinding, trying to hurry his cock into her body.

He couldn't hold off much longer; he needed to get inside his girl quickly before he ruined his own plan and came on her belly instead of inside her.

"Oh, yes. You feel so fucking good, B." Her tight, wet pussy warmed his cock as he slid it deep inside her. Edward pushed his cock in and out in a slow, steady speed, and then rolled Bella until she was sitting on top of him. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on. Her dark hair was a veil around her face. Her eyes were hooded, her mouth was parted, and her chest was heaving with desire. Bella looked like an angel to him.

As their hips circled in perfect rhythm, Edward took a hold of her hand and placed a promise ring on her finger, briefly stopping her gyrating hips.

"Keep going, Love." Edward said through a moan.

"Edward?" Her questioning voice was whisper-soft as they easily regained their rhythm.

"I love you."

"Love you too, baby." She leaned down kissing his lips, tasting the champagne that lingered on his mouth.

Edward grabbed her hips, grinding her at a faster pace. They were both barely holding on.

"Come for me, Love. Let me see what I do to you." She sat up, gripping her hair into her fists, her breasts bouncing as Edward continued thrusting hard, their bodies making loud slapping noises.

"Yes baby, right there. Don't stop. Please don't. Ever. Stop!" Her screams were music to his ears. When he felt her contract around his cock, he let go.

He whispered breathlessly into her ear, "_Mi Ami Sempre_,love me always, B," as she relaxed on top of his chest.

"Forever," Bella whispered back.

**Two Weeks Later**

The summer breeze blew warmly over the silhouetted lovers, who stood next to the old tree near the faded red barn. The burnt orange sun was setting on the horizon, casting its last rays of light on them. His long fingers played with her soft, brunette hair, streaked with auburn highlights. Her fingers were hooked through the loops of his jeans, thumbing the muscled V on his abdomen. Her tears started flowing, and she silently cursed herself for being weak. She had been so strong, but knowing he was leaving again, crushed her.

"I'm not sure when I'll be back, B." Edward smoothed his fingertip down Bella's cheek, interrupting the steady stream of tears sliding down her face. "I'll call as often as I can, promise." He placed a soft gentle kiss on her forehead, playing with a strand of her hair. He'd always cared for this girl more than she understood.

She shook her head, closing her eyes tightly. Her lips pressed together defiantly. The nose Edward loved to peck with his lips, started to run. She wiped it with the back of her hand, and then ran a hand across the side of her dress. She sniffled to keep her runny nose at bay with no such luck. At this point, her nose was out of control, just like the rest of her.

She didn't understand how Edward could leave her after the perfect summer they had just spent together, laughing and carefree, yet the love between them intense. Years of friendship had turned into love over these summer months, something she had waited for, for years. The passion between them was something she'd never felt before, making her body weak in his presence. She had been completely open lying bare to her lover. He was the only person she had ever been this intimate with. Now he was leaving.

She didn't care about the new job he was offered. She was pissed when he had told her about it weeks ago. They were perfectly happy, just like this—nothing else mattered.

For security reasons, Edward couldn't divulge any information about his new job, making her even more apprehensive. The secrecy of it all frightened Bella; she worried for Edward's safety. She had worried when he had been deployed in Afghanistan, and she didn't want to worry about his safety yet again. She wanted him to keep working for Garrett here in their home town. At least it was safe. Construction here in the States wouldn't get him killed, unlike this new government job.

"Please say something, B." Edward took her face in his hands. He cupped her cheeks and lifted her face to his.

"Love, look at me. Open those beautiful eyes."

"I can't." She cried more.

"I'll come back to you, I promise." He kissed her lips softly, willing her to open her mouth and kiss him. The back of his long fingers skimmed over her soft cheek, down her neck. The other hand pulled her so close; he could make out the pounding rhythm of her heart.

"I'm going to be training, and then I'll be sent on a few assignments. You can't come with me, and even if you could, I wouldn't want you in a strange city all by yourself." He placed more soft kisses on her nose, lips, and chin. "At least here I know you'll be safe, Garrett has always watched out for you when I've been away." He leaned his forehead to hers. "This time is no different, B." He looked into her eyes. Her lashes were wet with tears, making his heart seize. She placed her hands on his well-defined chest and forced herself to push him away.

"You can't even tell me how long you'll be gone. How long I'm going to be without you." She turned her back to him and sobbed into her hands. Her hair fell around her face, and it took everything Edward had, not to grab her. She would miss him twice as much now that they had finally established a relationship. The other times he had been away, she knew she didn't have the right to be upset, they weren't a couple. But now, she hoped that he'd never leave again, because they were in love. It broke her heart to know he was going to be out of arm's reach. She had come to depend on his warm arms wrapped around her body at night as they slept, and his texts throughout the day. Bella was giddy every time she'd receive a new text from him. Mostly they made her blush. She'd giggle, anticipating their evenings alone. Bella's heart was completely whole with Edward home. He was situated perfectly in her life—right where she wanted him.

"Because I don't know, Love. Honestly." He scrubbed his hands over his face, pacing back and forth between the barn and tree. He wished she understood how much he loved her, that he would be back for her as soon as humanly possible.

"I'm not them, okay? I'll be back. I love you, B!" Edward knew she was thinking of her parents, who died when Bella was twenty, while vacationing abroad. He tried to reassure her, he would be fine. Edward walked straight to where Bella had crouched down, with her back leaned on the scratchy bark of the old tree. Her head was cradled in her own hands, and elbows propped on her knees. He scooped her limp body into his arms, cradling her like a baby. He held her close, but somehow she didn't feel close enough. Bella's arms hugged his neck for dear life as a few sobs escaped her throat.

"This is not how we are going to say our goodbyes." He had his arms around her petite body, carrying her into the barn, before placing her on the soft blanket; he had spread out on the rows of stacked hay bales. Their dinner was long since forgotten and sat untouched in the picnic basket. He would try, wholeheartedly, to salvage the romantic evening he had planned for her.

Placing Bella gently on the blanket, he leaned over her and kissed her softly. His heart ached to see her chin quiver.

With tear-blurred eyes, Bella gazed up at her man, hovering just above her. His brilliant evergreen eyes yearning to please her.

"May I take your dress off B ... and love you?" His hands skimmed along her arms.

Bella nodded her answer and bit her lip to keep from crying yet again. She wanted their goodbye to be sweet, but the circumstances were anything but. Bittersweet would be how she would describe it. She couldn't imagine saying goodbye to him. Her heart literally hurt.

She felt as if she was losing him, and the feeling had lodged its way into her heart. The lump in her throat was burning her esophagus and wouldn't dissipate. She swallowed thickly, trying to force it down, to ignore it. But she couldn't.

"Lift your arms, Love." Edward gently slid Bella's navy baby doll dress over her head, discovering her pert, naked breasts. He dropped the blue fabric on the barn floor. His jeans grew tighter and uncomfortable; as he watched her nipples harden even further. He didn't take his eyes off Bella or her pebbled nipples. His hands were now on her brown boots, slipping them off her feet. Her panties were the last item to be stripped from her soft, ivory body; he slid them slowly down her thighs, savoring the act of undressing his girl, this very last time before departing. His clothing was next; he stripped quickly, he couldn't wait to nestle his body between hers and love his girl.

Beautiful, naked Bella lay on the blanket before him making his heart swell and quicken with love and desire. He knew she was his, and he would be back for her regardless of what she was imagining. He wanted to make their last night together special and show her how much he loved and cherished her, how much she meant to him. He was going to miss her playful sexy morning texts before he left for work and her evening hellos where she'd be waiting on his porch, reading her book and petting his old tabby cat, Felix. He would miss everything in between as well, and he'd be damned if he was going to leave his girl without showing her exactly how much she meant to him.

She put her hands on Edward's neck, pulling him closer. Her lips found his; they kissed with a passion that neither one had ever felt before. His skin prickled with chill bumps when his body pressed to hers. Her hips rose slightly, gyrating, seeking friction to soothe the ache between her legs.

Edward conveyed through his actions the love he had for her, by taking his time; their lovemaking was sweet and unhurried. Loving, not lustful. He cherished the girl that had become his one constant for years; he was finally free to love her fully. His sweet girl laid bare before him.

More tingles coursed through Edwards's body when Bella reciprocated with tongue twirls. Her fingers played in his hair, massaging over his scalp. The shiny gold promise ring he had given her just a few short weeks ago pulled strands of his unruly hair every so often. She loved the saying that touched her skin from the engraving on the ring. Mi Ami Sempre, 'love me always'. He whispered in her ear every time they made love.

Low moans were prevalent from both of them, echoing through the rafters of the old barn. His hands skimmed her body: shoulders, breasts, stomach, and thighs, coaxing her legs to wrap around his waist. She swore she could feel the details of his fingerprints, so sensitive on her warm flesh. He ghosted one hand down to her warm, wet center, taking his time rubbing lightly and savoring every last second with his lover. His other was on her cheek, his thumb lovingly stroking her silent tears away. They were joined in the most intimate of ways, and he felt entirely connected to his girl. He loved her with all his heart. 

"I love you B ... always. Don't you forget that ... you hear me?" His voice cracked. She whimpered. He

kissed her with more force than necessary, but his emotions had risen to the surface. The tightening in his chest reconfirmed that he indeed loved this girl wholeheartedly, not that he doubted it, but now he second guessed his decision to take a new assignment thousands of miles away.

"I've got your heart, Love. I'll protect that precious piece of you, don't you worry." The tightening in his belly signaled his impending orgasm. Their slow love making took them both over the edge with an explosion of emotions.

"I love you, Edward Masen ... please come back to me." Her eyes closed tightly as her toes curled. Her whole body shook with a mixture of the wonderful high of their climax, and the painful low of his leaving. As she begged him, her orgasm intensified her emotions.

As much as he wanted to give in to her pleading, he knew that the job opportunity presented to him was one he couldn't pass up. This would give him even more financial stability, and he could offer Bella a wonderful life with him. He'd only have to work a few years and then he could retire for good. His days in the U.S. Marines were some of his proudest moments. He had served overseas in the war and saved many soldiers. The government had sought him out specifically for this job. Otherwise; he would still be on Garrett's payroll as foreman of his construction crew.

Edward knew Garrett, who he thought of as a brother, would watch over his girl while he was training. Garrett would have his back—there was no doubt about that. Bella and Garrett survived without Edward while he was in Afghanistan, and they would survive this too. They would be waiting for Edward when he returned.

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Weeks passed slowly. Bella worked as much as possible to pass the time. When she kept her mind on other things the time alone wasn't so bad, but then several months went by with a few inconsistent phone calls from Edward. She had been at work those times, and dropped everything to run to the break room to talk to him. They were never long calls, but she heard his voice and that was what mattered.

The times in between Edward's random phone calls, Bella would find herself in a funk that she couldn't shake, when thinking of him. Sometimes she'd find herself, brows deeply furrowed, chewing on the inside of her mouth until she tasted blood, wishing she'd receive another call. Her stomach would begin to gurgle with acid and she would have to run to the restroom to relieve the contents therein.

Garrett had asked, on several occasions, for Bella to join him at Tillie's Tavern on the outskirts of their little town. Bella's excuses were becoming less and less believable. The only excuse she hadn't pulled out of her bag of lies was that she needed to wash her hair.

Garrett had had quite enough of her excuses. The few times he ran into Bella in town, she looked thin and sad. He knew that he needed to intervene, and quickly. It wasn't like them not to hang out on a regular basis, she had been avoiding him. Bella knew she needed companionship to help her deal with Edward's absence, but the thought of putting on a happy face for someone else wasn't appealing. She'd rather be alone.

Even Garrett was missing his best friend. This was different than when Edward was deployed and could Skype on a semi-regular basis. He hadn't heard from him at all. Even he had started to doubt the safety of Edward's new job, but he didn't divulge his fears to Bella.

"Bells, I'm not buying the load of shit you've been feeding me. I'll pick you up at eight, and you better be ready. I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm getting you outta the house if it kills me, and don't think I won't toss you over my shoulder and put your little ass in my truck." She heard the loud beep of what she imagined was a concrete truck in the background, and then Garrett clicked off the line before she could make a rebuttal.

Bella only did what was absolutely necessary to get through each day: wake, barely eat, work, sleep, and repeat. She hated that her whole existence was strengthened by Edward's presence, but he had quickly become her life. Once he arrived back from the war overseas, they finally gave into what they had always felt toward one another. Somehow being just friends wasn't going to cut it, they fell in love hard. In the few short months that they had become 'official', they talked marriage, babies, and life in general. It was something she had always dreamed about and especially with Edward. He was the most respectable man she'd ever met; he had always been her protector. She'd known him forever. He had been right under her nose for years, but they had always been just friends. She wanted all of those things; she yearned for them.

Bella was but a shell of herself now that Edward was off training in God-knows-where. Garrett knew it. He wasn't giving her an out this time.

She huffed, "fine!" into the phone even though Garrett had hung up on her, seconds ago. She would make the best of her time with Garrett and show herself, and him, that she could have a decent time. She just hoped that the evening would fly by so that she could take her sleeping pill, crawl back into the bed that she and Edward used to curl up on, and dream of her man. Dreams were the best. It was the nightmares of Edward never coming back that rocked her to her core; she could live without those. She had them almost as much as she dreamt of the good times. It scared the ever-loving hell out of her, so she reached for her phone after each episode, to call the man that the terrors had been about. But each time she dialed his number, it immediately went to his voicemail. She found herself shaking, redialing his phone just to hear his voice; she needed to make sure he was okay. The depressing news reports that she tried so hard to avoid, somehow crept into her head while she slept. Even though she had no idea what he was actually doing, it made her worry more for his safety. She hated that she was losing her faith in Edward since he left; and had little contact with her.

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Everyone in town must have been at Tillie's that night. It was crowded with barely enough room to move to the bar and order drinks. Every few steps Garrett and Bella took; they were stopped by someone that just wanted to say a friendly hello. She loved her little town; living there all of her life, she had come to know everyone. Not all were friends, some were just acquaintances, but even so, the friendliness was a great feeling. She was glad that Garrett forced her to pop her bubble of gloom and venture out for the night with him. She could feel the energy of the music running through her body, making her glad she was there. The gloominess she had been feeling was being peeled away from her like the skin of an onion. Each layer making her feel a bit more like her old jovial self.

"Sweetie, whatcha drinking tonight?" Bella smiled at Garrett, the first real smile in quite some time.

"Um, I'll just take a beer. That'll be fine, thanks." Bella looked over her shoulder to the dance floor. She knew the music playing tonight would be an eclectic mix of country, soul, jazz, pop, and even a little rock. She bit her lip, chewing it as she remembered when Edward took her hand and pulled her to the dance floor, swaying to the music of Amos Lee, a few nights before he left town, all those weeks ago.

"Here Bells. Cheers!" Garrett handed her the cold bottle of beer and clinked his to hers, giving her a wink.

"Cheers," Bella responded with a tight smile. She was suddenly lost in the memory of one of the last, best nights of her life with Edward. It tugged at her heart strings, bringing a mist to her brown eyes, knowing he wasn't waiting for her on the dance floor or trailing his soft lipped kisses down her neck in a booth, or even going home with her to make mad passionate love at closing time. She took a long pull from her beer bottle, holding the crisp carbonated beer in her mouth, before swallowing it. Her happy thoughts of Edward were washed down with that last cool swallow.

"Come on sweetie, why don't you let me take you for a twirl on the dance floor? You look like you need to loosen up, and this song makes me wanna dance." Garrett set their beers on the bar, took hold of her hand, and pulled her to the dance floor. She felt different when Garrett slid his fingers over her beer-cooled palm to twine through hers, coaxing her to dance. It was too intimate … too familiar … too much like Edward for Bella's liking. She quickly pinched her fingers closed, clasping his hand instead. She wasn't as accepting of his offer to dance as she had been with Edward. She would have followed Edward anywhere, anytime, in fact, she felt like she had followed him, whether he knew it or not. The tenor of Edward's laughing voice had always drawn her as if she were a magnet and he was metal. She would do anything for him. His green eyes were hypnotizing; Bella had always been powerless against him. As long as Edward was by her side, she could do anything, even dance. Bella shrugged as Garrett pulled her to the middle of the worn, hardwood dance floor. He had a swagger in his step; as he shoulder shrugged to 'Sexy Back'. He made her laugh as she watched how he could dance with ease. It was much harder for her, but she got into a groove that made her feel good. This was a good stress reliever and for a moment her mind was occupied, listening and moving her body. She watched Garrett's big, muscular frame glide to the upbeat tune of Justin Timberlake.

Garrett rested his hands on Bella's waist from behind, and they swayed their hips in perfect rhythm. It felt good to have a man move with her in that way. Bella's guilt surfaced for a split second, but she tucked it away in order to have a good time with a friend who cared about her well being. When the song faded into a slow melody, Bella exited off the old, wooden floor and carefully pushed her way back to the bar.

"Can I get another beer, Rose?" Bella shouted over the loud music. "Sure, girl. One cold one coming up." Rose winked at Bella.

"There you are! You kinda hightailed it off the dance floor. I swear it took me five minutes to make it over here to you. This crowd is insane." Garrett put his big hand on Bella's shoulder and gave her a pat; his body towered over her. "I think I saw a booth over by the pool tables. Grab me another beer, and I'll go see if I can snag it for us." He threw some cash on the bar and retreated to the open table.

"Rose, can I get one more, please?" Bella held up her beer showing Rose what she wanted.

"Of course." Rose popped the top off the bottle and slid it toward Bella.

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The crowd dwindled as the night progressed. Bella and Garrett kept drinking, watching people bet on their pool games, and talked about nothing in particular, which Bella was thankful for. The last thing she wanted was to start crying in a room full of people, if the subject of Edward was brought up. Garrett must have known to avoid the topic, because he never mentioned his best friend, not even once.

Closing time was nearing, but for the last hour Bella drank only water in hopes of sobering up. She knew that she was now the DD since Garrett had no intentions of ending the night sober. He ordered another beer when Rose shouted 'last call'. Bella wondered how she was going to get the hulk of a man to his truck, let alone up into it if he were too far gone. She looked around for anyone she knew that would be able to help her. The only person that could possibly help was Rose's boyfriend, and bouncer, Emmett, so she guessed she had their exit planned. The problem after that would be how to get him into his house and to bed.

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Garrett was seated in the passenger side of his truck while Bella drove the darkened roads. The moonlight glinted off the blacktop, and she wondered briefly if Edward was looking at the same full moon, thoughts of him always on her mind. She needed fresh air to clear her mind, so she rolled down the window, letting the cool evening air tangle her hair as it whipped it back and forth. Unshed tears were blinked back and held at bay.

Bella knew there was no way to get Garrett into his house. The stairs up to his front door would take her hours to ascend with a drunken man to contend with. Instead, she drove the familiar roads to her own home. She could pull right up to the side door of her house since there were no steps to maneuver; and more easily get Garrett to her couch.

"Garrett, we're here. Wake up buddy ... time to get you inside." She stood at the open passenger door trying to rouse him. She shook his shoulder until she barely saw the whites of his eyes.

"Bells. You're sweet as honey … I need a kiss."

"Nope, you're three sheets to the wind. I ought to make you sleep here in your truck. Now get your ass in my house." Bella kicked herself for thinking this was any sort of a good idea; Garrett was heavy as a ton of bricks and wasn't much help getting himself inside and to his designated sleeping space. But they finally made it. She threw a blanket over his loudly snoring body.

"Goodnight, Gar. I'll see you in the morning," she said as she walked the few steps to her bedroom. She knew good and damn well that he never heard her.

Bella took her nightly sleep aid and nestled her body into her warm blankets. She hoped that tonight would be filled with good dreams and not the others that she dreaded.

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Training was as expected. Edward had been used to pushing himself while in the Marines, and loved how his body ached; working muscles he hadn't felt in a while. His arms and legs burned from the exertion of running obstacle courses and lifting weights, and he could now see even more definition in his limbs and torso from the drills. His new team members were great and knew exactly what they were doing as well, but they continued to train together to establish camaraderie. They needed that bond if they were going to make it out of life and death situations. They'd have to have each other's backs on covert missions, so training days were long and exhausting.

The miles that separated him and Bella were taking a toll on Edward's psyche. His missions were stressful which he knew in advance, but now with Bella more firmly in his life, they didn't seem worth the monetary gain he thought of in the beginning, when accepting the position.

It made him miss his girl, something terrible.

The destinations were always top secret; even he didn't know where he was going until they got there. They had successfully rescued hostages from militant groups in the jungle. He had been to hot, sandy deserts and to cold mountains in countries he had never heard of, rescuing the innocent. He'd been shot at, and his chopper had been hit several times on several different occasions. He'd been lucky, to say the least, he was the first to admit that this was not the way he wanted to live his life, especially now that Bella was by his side. Danger was always present. The construction job he left behind, along with the love of his life, was looking far more appealing than the tax free contract money he was making. Right now he couldn't hold his girl every night, but the one thing Edward could do was call her twice a week, even for a few, short minutes at a time. His calls, regrettably, happened when it was night time for Bella. Each time he called, it took her a dozen rings to answer her phone, but eventually she would pick up and utter his name.

"Ed...ward?" Her sleep-filled voice always answered the same way.

"Yes, Love, it's me."

"Baby?"

"Yes, B, it's me. I love you so much, Love. I miss you. I miss your soft body pressed to mine."

"Miss you too ... love you." Her voice was tired, and she sounded incoherent, but he talked to her until her responses were barely there, and her sleep was imminent.

"I have your heart, Love, always. I know you're tired, so I'm going to let you go. I just wanted you to know that you are always on my mind… always. I'll be home as soon as I can. Just a few more missions."

"'Kay, baby," she uttered slowly, completely oblivious to the phone call.

"Night, sweet girl, mi ami sempre." He blew a big kiss into the phone each and every time before he hung up.

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Edward didn't realize his absence was making Bella depressed, he figured she was still upset from him leaving, but not depressed. In the last few months, there were only a few daytime phone calls, and she never alluded to the fact that she was struggling with him being gone. She put on a good front, saying she was fine and keeping busy. The rest of his calls were in the middle of the night. Little did he know that she was taking meds to help her sleep. It would have explained to him why she always seemed a little bit off, not completely there with him in the conversation. He chalked it up to him disturbing her sleep.

Bella's picture was always with him; it helped the ache in his heart since he couldn't reach out and touch her. The only time it wasn't close to his body was when he was in the shower. They had been inseparable once they became exclusive, neither one spending anymore nights alone. He would stay at her house during the week, and she would occupy his bed on the weekends. He could almost smell the sweet scent of her in his nose when he thought about her wrapped around his body. Thoughts of Bella were on his mind the majority of the day.

"B, you don't know how much I have always wanted you." He placed kisses along her collarbone as they lay in bed, after making love. It made her shiver with desire to hear how he craved her.

"If it's half as much as I've wanted you … then I know." She smiled as his kissing progressed further down her body. She playfully pushed his head down to where she needed him most. She spread her legs and invited him once again to make love to her.

His thoughts were always on Bella. He stroked himself to release, remembering every detail of her luscious body.

Edward talked to Bella's picture like she was a real entity lying right next to him. He missed her soft skin pressed to his body, and her silky hair that he loved running his fingers through. He missed her kisses, how delicious she tasted. Making love to her was always on his mind but he wasn't greedy, he loved all of her. But most of all he missed the companionship, their lazy times, daily routines, all of those mundane things that people take for granted. He knew that each moment was special, and as soon as he was home, he was going to make her his forever. No more waiting. The separation was killing him.

Each night before bed he wrote in his small leather journal, the one his father had given him before he had deployed to Afghanistan. He didn't write every night overseas; he wrote when the inspiration hit him, and lately, his inspiration was Bella. He wanted to give his journal to her when he made it home so she could see just how much he had missed her while he had been away.

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Garrett and Bella grew closer as the days and months passed, even though they had been friends for years. She came to rely on his company to keep her thoughts of Edward at bay. Frequent calls and texts helped as well as lunches together in the break room at Newton's.

Too much time on her hands never ended up well. She would've sat in front of the TV and cried with a tub of Neapolitan ice cream, had Garrett not occupied her time. Fridays consisted of dinner at Bella's, with an action movie afterward. No chick flicks. They made her miss Edward too much. She envied the love struck couples that eventually found their 'happily ever after', at the end of the movie. NO thanks, she was not going to cry like a baby in front of Garrett, or anyone else for that matter. Then, Tillie's was a given on Saturday nights; moving to the music, drinking beer, playing pool, and hanging out until closing time.

Bella truly appreciated Garrett continuing to fill the void in her life while Edward was out of town working ... in God only knows where.

"So, B ..." Garrett had taken to calling her B, which was one of Edward's nicknames for her. She never corrected him by saying that that moniker was already taken by her man. He should have known it. He had heard Edward call her that many times. Instead, she smiled and let it go, because he was one of her best friends. "It's almost Christmas and you have yet to get a tree." He shook his head in mock disappointment, shaking his finger in her direction, his teasing made Bella laugh. Lately, he always said or did something that put a smile on her face.

"I'm not really in the mood to decorate this year with Edward away."

"Ba Hum Bug! Last time I checked your name wasn't Ebenezer, so put on your coat, B, cause we're going' a tree huntin'."

Bella knew there was no arguing with Garrett; it was best she just shut her mouth and get her coat, because he wouldn't take no for an answer. He never let her say no. She secretly liked the way he took charge; she shuddered to think if he hadn't stepped in where she would be—most likely still in her bed with a box of tissues, and thirty additional pounds on her slight frame from all the ice cream she would have consumed.

"Okay Garrett, you are such a pain in my ass," she teased. "Let's get this over with." Bella slipped on her puffy coat, grabbed her scarf and opened the door to brave the cold winds slapping her in the face. She heard Garrett chuckle, and she cursed him and the frigid weather.

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"How bout this one?" He held his hand in the direction of what she thought was the worst tree in the field. It was bushy on one side and so thin on the other; a few of the branches were almost bare of pine needles. It looked like it had some disease such as alopecia for pines. She giggled to herself.

"You need glasses ... that one sucks, big time."

"I love this tree. Just because it's not full on every side doesn't mean it's ugly. Even ugly trees need love." He stuck his bottom lip out into a pout, hoping to change her mind. This tree reminded him of one he had picked out as a little kid and since then, he never picked out a perfect tree, to him that just wasn't Christmas. He loved making it look as if it were the best tree on the lot. It was a challenge of sorts.

"Is this the one you seriously want me to take home?" He nodded his head vigorously affirming his choice.

"'Kay ... cut her down then. But if it falls over from lack of symmetry, then I'm blaming you. Oh and you get tree removal duty, as well. I hate all those dry, prickly pine needles that fall off."

"You got it B ... this is going to be the best Christmas ever." His toothy, white smile was adorable to her, and she didn't have the heart to tell him that she pretty much dubbed this Christmas the worst one in the history books. Without Edward, it would just be like any other normal or not so normal day in the life of Bella Swan.

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The tree was actually pretty when dressed up in all its white-lighted glory and sitting in the corner of Bella's tiny living room. She had a few glass ball ornaments that she hung, but that was the extent of her decorating this year. The fancy ornaments in the plastic tubs in her storage room would have to wait another year, before adorning a Christmas tree.

Garrett had whipped up a pitcher of his signature spiked eggnog and already gulped down his third cup while he watched Bella move around her small living room. Now on her fourth cup, Bella felt warm and nearly boneless by the time she finished her weak attempt at decorating, and plopped down on the couch beside Garrett, before stretching out to rest her head in his lap.

"Once again I'm glad I didn't take no for an answer. The tree is beautiful."

"You're beautiful." Garrett pulled his fingers through Bella's long hair; he had always wanted to feel just how soft it actually was. Her locks slid through his fingers easily. He was careful not to pull it. He imagined it was soft, but not like this. It felt like satin.

Bella's breathing hitched at his soft touch and his declaration; her heart pounded behind her ribs with something: want…desire…need?

Thoughts of Edward came to Garrett's mind, Edward was fucking up in his book, he was hurting Bella. His thoughts were outweighing his common sense at the moment. Garrett had kept his distance and stayed in the' friend zone' for entirely too long, but now was his opportunity to change that status. He wanted a chance to show Bella how she should be treated. He'd never leave her; he hadn't left since they had met in the sixth grade.

"See, I know what's good for you most of the time. You just have to trust me." He winked at her, and she felt her stomach flutter. She hated that her stomach did that when Garrett winked at her. This wasn't the first time he made such a gesture. At times, she chalked his winking up to a nervous tick, but each time he'd tug on her ponytail or touch the end of her nose with his finger, in a teasing fashion. It never failed to make Bella's insides quiver, leaving her confused. This time there was no teasing gesture.

Bella started to remove her head from his lap, but he stopped her from her retreat. The backs of his fingers touched the heated blush on her cheeks. The gentle pressure of his fingers felt like a lead weight to her, pushing her head back into his lap. She couldn't take her eyes off his face. It was like her first time really looking at him. He had always been a friend, nothing more. His light brown eyes with golden flecks were staring intensely back at her; she imagined running her tongue over the stubble on his cheeks and chin. She must be tipsy … these thoughts were brand new.

Garrett then coaxed Bella by taking hold of her biceps and bringing her to straddle his lap. Their lips were mere inches away. Their spicy sweet breaths were mingling in the few inches of space between them, and the thickness of his thighs under her rear end made her wet. She knew the bulge a bit higher would feel even nicer.

Bella had never noticed how perfect his lips really were. His lips were beautiful, his top lip was plumper in the middle, almost like a pucker, and when his pink tongue darted out to moisten it before speaking, Bella watched with bated breath.

"Do you trust me B?"

She slowly nodded her head, but her eyes darted off, looking past him, but then immediately focused back into his trusting eyes.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" She shook her head minutely, not believing what he was saying. She had only ever felt beautiful in Edward's presence. It had been far too long and she missed that feeling of being admired. Bella put her hand to Garrett's chest and gently tried to extract herself from the position he held her in. Before she could distance herself, Garrett cupped her face and brought his lips to hers. Bella's eyes closed for a brief second; she missed kissing. It was wrong on so many levels, yet she gave in to his soft, pouty lips that were seeking hers.

Tears pricked her eyes; emotions that she had tried so hard to conceal resurfaced. She wondered why Edward had only called her three times since he had been gone. She began to think that he was being careless with her heart. That he no longer loved her. He had promised her the world, yet he couldn't even take the time to call her. The only thing she looked forward to, when it came to Edward, was the few nights a week she actually had good dreams of him. The other nights were pure hell. The only other goodness in her life right now was the man kissing her ever so sweetly. He was the man that was taking his time to make sure she was okay and as happy as possible, given the shitty way her boyfriend had left her with an aching heart, and no consistent contact.

She finally pulled away from Garrett's sweet kiss and whispered, "Garrett, we … we should've never kissed." Even though she was feeling no pain from the delicious eggnog, she knew between right and wrong, and needed to stop his advances. But there was a part of her that told her to let go and give in.

"Let me show you how special you are to me, B." He ran his hands down her sides and rested them on her hips, pulling her closer to his body. Now Bella felt his erection under her, and it made her miss Edward so badly. Garrett leaned his head forward, resting his forehead on hers, his pretty eyes connecting with her brown ones.

"This isn't right, Gar. None of this is … right." She motioned between them with her hands.

He took a deep breath and asked, "Just one night B ... just one night?"

Bella didn't know why she gave his request even the slightest consideration, but the next thing she knew Garrett had her cradled in his arms, carrying her to her bed. Her nose was pressed into his neck; the scent of his cologne was intoxicating. Her traitorous body was responding to his.

Garrett was gentle with her, and she was gentle with him. She savored every touch he ghosted over her body, and her touches sent a thrill directly to his core. She didn't love him like she loved Edward, but feelings pretty damned close to love, had developed in the past few months, for the man that had always taken her under his wing and made her feel wanted. His feelings deepened with her underneath him, he never in his wildest dreams thought he'd be lucky enough to be in this position with Bella, his secret crush.

Their naked bodies felt nice pressed together; she imagined it was Edward at first. She craved his scent and the feel of his body. Garrett's scent was way different—it wasn't bad at all, but it wasn't the same, and his body ... it wasn't Edward's either. But the warmth and weight of his muscled body felt heavenly. The connection was comforting and satisfying, like a blanket. The all too familiar ache between her legs, intensified.

Bella bit her bottom lip waiting as Garrett entered her slowly, he didn't force her by any means, and she thought this was what she wanted. She needed to take the edge off her hurt. Part of her wanted to hurt Edward like he was hurting her, even though she missed him so badly … in this moment she knew she was using Garrett.

Garrett's erection slowly slid in and out of her, stretching her, she heard herself moan, partly in pleasure but mostly in pain, for the act she was committing. Garrett felt good, yet very wrong. She knew that this made her a cheater. Her tears started flowing uncontrollably, and Garrett panicked, suddenly realizing that Bella was far too fragile, too fragile for a one night stand. Even though secretly he never wanted it to be just one night, he had hoped she would finally see how good he had always been to her, for her.

"Oh, B ... I'm so sorry honey." He withdrew himself from her warm, sweet body with neither one of them reaching a climax. It was heaven while it lasted though, he thought to himself.

Shaking her head, she looked into his eyes. "We shouldn't have done this, Gar. I'm a horrible person. I love Edward." He rolled off her body and turned her on her side to where she was facing him. She sobbed into his chest, and he soothed her. His chest hurt, his heart was now broken. She didn't want him like he had wanted her.

"I'm so fucking sorry. I ... I don't know what I was thinking." His voice was remorseful, but Bella wouldn't let him shoulder all of the blame. She had consented.

"I should have stopped the kiss, Gar, but I missed his lips on mine and for a moment I imagined you were him." He wiped her tears and hugged her tighter. He had prayed she wasn't thinking of Edward while he was on top of her moving in and out of her warm body. He didn't like that thought, but he knew ultimately she was not his. He had been in Heaven while it lasted, he pushed his tears back. He had no right to cry over this girl.

That night she fell asleep without her sleep aid, tucked into the comforting arms of another man, her best friend. Garrett knew that this would be the only time he'd ever hold Bella in this way, so even though he was hurting, he held her close to his heart, until the morning sun shone through her bedroom window.

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The days following the illicit tryst, Bella became more and more withdrawn. Every time she thought about what she had done … what _they _had done … her skin would crawl, and she felt as though she needed to scrub herself clean with bleach, to remove the evil deed that had been done. She wasn't answering Garrett's phone calls at all; she had even called into work at the hardware store claiming sickness for the week.

Christmas was around the corner, and she couldn't stand to celebrate anything, let alone Christmas by herself. She needed to get away. She knew she couldn't continue her relationship with Garrett that was for sure. The more she thought of what had happened the night of the Christmas tree cutting, she got angry. How could Garrett have taken advantage of her fragile state of mind? He knew that she wasn't strong enough to stop his advances, but yet he continued them. Yes, she knew that it was her fault as well, but she was weak, and she felt like a complete failure now. He was supposed to help her survive Edward's long absence, but instead he took advantage ... and she let him. She couldn't even keep the home fires burning while her man was away. Bella knew the right thing to do would be to end it with Edward as well. He deserved much better than a lying, cheating, whore-of-a-girlfriend. Edward would never cheat on her, and that thought alone—while it should be comforting—only made her feel worse about herself.

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When Garrett woke up the morning after he and Bella had sex, he slipped his clothes back on and took one last look at her beautiful body, and kissed her head lightly, before leaving her house. He was ashamed of himself and tried to call Bella over the past few days to apologize. There was no way that he would go to her house if she was avoiding his phone calls and ignoring his messages. He didn't know if he could look at her and not want to touch her, kiss her. He knew that he had fucked up royally, and he didn't know how to fix any of it.

He felt sick to his stomach.

He had been so careless.

He betrayed his best friend ... his brother.

And the girl he was supposed to protect while Edward was away.

Garrett wasn't blaming Bella, but he hated the way she unintentionally crawled under his skin, worming her way into his heart. If he were an honest man, he would admit to her, that he loved her too. But he was a coward, a lying, cheating bastard. Edward would find out, most likely it would be by his own admission, if and when he ever made it home. He knew it was the right thing to do.

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Bella was curled up into a tight ball on her bed. Her arms were wrapped around her legs that were tucked tightly to her chest. Her hair was a mess; her body was cold yet sweaty, and she needed to shower. It had been days that she laid in the bed that was once her and Edward's love nest, it had since been desecrated and she punished herself by lying there remembering how awful of a person she was. The punishment wasn't enough though; it hurt but not as bad as it should for acting like a whore.

Bella packed her car with just the necessities—she was leaving. She felt as though the townspeople knew of her indiscretions with Garrett, even though in all likelihood they did not. She decided that she couldn't face Edward when he finally returned home. She had to leave this tiny town before everyone found out about her whorish ways. She was thinking solely of him and his feelings. Not that she had thought of his feelings the night that she let Garrett take her to bed, but now she would make up for that. She would leave in hopes it would be better for him.

Boxes were piled high in her living room of the things that she would send for later. Her cousin, Alice, lived two hours away and offered for her to stay in her spare bedroom until Bella could find a place of her own, and get back on her feet. Bella reluctantly accepted her offer. Maybe spending time with Alice would help mend her.

On the way out of town, she pulled into Edward's driveway and placed the pink envelope in the mail slot in his front door. Bella covered her mouth with her gloved hand when she finally mustered the nerve to let the letter fall from her fingers through the metal opening. There was no turning back now. Edward would know exactly what kind of woman she had turned out to be ... one not worthy of his love.

Hot tears marred her cheeks. If she had had the energy to put on makeup this morning, she surely would have had black streaks marking her pretty face.

The pink envelope addressed to Edward had tear stains and smeared words of apology. The pieces of her broken heart were spelled out in great detail in the two page letter that she had so carefully written in the early hours of the morning. The broken icicles lying on the ground mirrored the way she felt.

Shattered.

Flat out broken to pieces.

Bella slowly walked the stone path leading back to her getaway car. She wanted to memorize the stone pathway that her feet had walked a thousand times before this dreadful day. She wanted one last time to think of how happy she and Edward had been holding hands walking into his cozy home. She knew this would be the last time her feet would carry her on this path, and if her heart wasn't shattered enough, it was pure dust in this moment.

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Edward was ecstatic that his last mission was over. He had decided to surprise Bella, with his return a few days before Christmas. He also had two other surprises. One, he wanted to ask for her hand in marriage. He had practiced a speech about how much he adored her and couldn't live without her in his head, the entire flight back to his home town. And two, he gave his notice; he had quit the job that had taken him so far away from Bella for so long. The danger and distance between them wasn't going to work in their favor any longer.

The first stop was to his home to take a quick shower before surprising Bella. He wanted to have the ring to offer her. His grandmother's vintage diamond solitaire ring was in his safe at the back of his closet in safe keeping. It meant the world to Grandma Elizabeth to pass it down to Edward for his future wife. It was a precious token that Edward never, until now, wanted to offer to anyone. No one had been worthy of this heirloom, or his heart—not until Bella staked a permanent claim on his heart, body and soul. As far as he could remember, she was always the first person he thought of when he needed an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on. In return, he was the same for her. They had been each other's rock of Gibraltar. They were friends before lovers.

.

.

.

The pink envelope in Edward's hand was shaking uncontrollably. When he had opened it, Bella's promise ring fell out, clinking to the wood floor. Bile rose in his throat and his lungs barely held enough breath to function. He felt light headed, and needed to sit. He read the letter in his hand, never imagining when he started, how appalling and heartbreaking it truly would be.

"Motherfucker!" Edward spat. "I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!" He grabbed his keys and ran to his car. He needed to settle a few things with Garrett before going after Bella.

He couldn't even call Garrett a friend or brother anymore. Garrett was now just a backstabbing bastard. He was dead as far as Edward was concerned.

Garrett knew the moment Edward stepped inside the construction trailer that all the ugly truths about he and Bella had been revealed. Edward's face was red hot and contorted. Garrett had never seen Edward this enraged—he practically saw fumes spewing from his ears. His fists were clenched so tightly, his knuckles were white under the strain. He knew Bella had spilled her guts, but that thought was interrupted by a solid fist connecting with his chiseled jaw. He was thrown back into the file cabinets by the sheer force of the attack, and his face throbbed in pain. Garrett knew he deserved that hit and much, much more, so he didn't fight back. One punch seemed to have alleviated some of Edward's aggression. He waited for him to unleash more pain, but his aggression seemed to wane after the sole punch was thrown.

"What the fuck man?" Edward yelled as he paced the floor of the office, glaring into the eyes of the man who had fucked his girl. His eyes were wild and bloodshot, making him look crazy.

Garrett just shook his head, rubbing his jaw. He had no excuses. He wanted to say that he loved her, but it seemed trite. She was never truly his to love.

"I leave to better my future. To give Bella security of a life with me, and this is what you do to me, man?" His words were loud, accusing. Hostile. He shook with fury as the words left his mouth.

"It's no excuse Ed, it was stupid of me. It's my fault, not Bella's. We became so close when you were gone. Neither of us knew where you were, what was going on. For all I knew, you weren't coming back. You never called me. You barely called Bella." He placed his hands on his desk, and then looked straight in Edward's eyes.

"You broke her, Ed. You broke her fucking heart! She was so sad—she cried all the time. She didn't think I knew, but I did." He paused minutely. "I comforted her so many times, and I'm sorry... I fell for her. I ... I love her too." He shook his head and then straightened his body to his full height. He waited for another assault from Edward, but instead Edward turned around and walked to the door. He paused for a brief minute.

"You speak of love? If you loved her, you wouldn't have fucked with her heart, if she was so broken. I should have known, you'd have to get her, that you'd want her for yourself. I saw some of the looks you shot her way—I dismissed them, thinking it was just my imagination. You_ were_ a friend, more like a brother." Edward's hands went to his disheveled hair, pulling the mess tightly. "You are nothing to me now! Fuck you, Garrett!"

He opened the door and turned once more to look at Garrett. Edward's eyes were murderous. If looks could kill, Garrett would be lying on the dirty floor of the work trailer. "How could you be so careless?" The door slammed, stilling the air in the construction trailer. Garrett had never felt as sick to his stomach as right in that moment. He sat hard into his chair not knowing what to do. Tears came to his eyes. His life was forever changed because of sweet Isabella Swan. At least now his conscious was clear, he'd have to find a way to move on. For his sake, he hoped he could.

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Edward needed to hightail it to Bella's house, the distance he felt between them now was even greater than what it had been while he was away. He wanted to pull her into him and soothe both their weary souls, wrap them in a cocoon and never leave.

Gravel spewed from under his tires, pelting the trailer as he made a hasty retreat from the construction site.

The CD that Bella had given him one night while they were on a romantic date was still on continuous loop on his car stereo. The words of Amos Lee made him want to pull to the side of the road and vomit. He had forgotten that he had put it in the stereo after his last night with Bella, after they made love in the barn.

_And I'm sure_

_That we both still both love her_

_And it's a shame we both lost her_

_And in time lost each other_

_But a trust has been broken_

_And words have been spoken_

Ejecting the depressing CD, breaking it in half and hurling it out the window, his only thought was getting to Bella as quickly as possible. He needed to let Bella know that he didn't blame her. Yes, he was upset about the affair between her and Garrett, but he still loved her. He wanted their relationship to work. The promise ring gripped tightly in his hand, the one he punched Garrett with, was ready to be placed back onto her delicate ring finger. Edward knew he loved Bella and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to try and make it work, but proposing now was the furthest thing from his mind. Bella had broken up with him in the letter. She had cheated. He needed to get her, get her back, work on them and forget the past. He hoped he could do it … he would try to do it.

Edward missed everything about her while he was away. His only thoughts were of her, his girl and making her his for eternity. Waking up and ending each day with her was what mattered. She was his best friend. No monetary gain or outside forces would be more important than his B. Making her happy and loving her as he did before he left was what he wanted, more so than precious air for his lungs.

His tires slid to a halt in Bella's snow covered driveway; he didn't even remember the drive to her house. He had been lost in thought, thinking about how he was going to react when he saw her for the first time. Would he grab her and hug her tight? Cry the tears that had been threatening his evergreen eyes since he read the letter? Yell and scream that it didn't matter? That he still wanted her? He would probably do all of the above.

The house was dark; he saw no movement through the window by her front door. The curtains had been pulled open just enough for him to see the Christmas tree in the corner of her tiny, familiar living room, next to her TV. But there were boxes stacked up next to her couch that caught his eye, and he began to panic. He started knocking so hard that the glass on the window beside the door rattled. He could have given two fucks if it had broken. He wished it did so that he could crawl through the window and find out for himself what the hell was going on. Her letter never said anything about leaving ... moving.

His knocking was in vain. Bella didn't answer the door. The only movement was the whipping wind blowing the accumulated snow on the porch railing toward him. His heart seized up again, and his emotions overtook his body. This time he lost all the contents of his stomach into the bushes lining the wooden porch. He sobbed like his heart had been ripped from his chest ... it had been, so to speak.

"Bella!" The cry of devastation could be heard by the neighbors. Edward crumpled to a heap on the snowy porch with his head in his hands. He had just been to hell and back with his job, making it out of godforsaken places primarily unscathed, to feeling like he had just been painfully gutted with a rusty dull knife. He would certainly die from a broken heart if his girl had left him forever. He needed to get her back ... find her.

"Please baby, I love you. I forgive you." His whispered pleas barely making it from his throat, "please forgive me for leaving you, mi ami sempre." He spoke to the picture he now held in his hand. The one he had talked to all those months while he was away... the picture of Bella, smiling at him while he held the camera under the old tree next to the faded red barn.

His fingers were numb from the cold, and his tears were frosty streaks on his reddened cheeks. If he was going to get his girl back, he needed to get up, dust himself off, and find her.

If anyone knew where Love, ran off to, it would be her cousin.

He dug his phone out of the breast pocket of his coat.

The first person he dialed was Alice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm going to borrow her characters for a minute. **

**I've decided to add songs for each chapter. You will find them at the end of the page.**

**I'd like to thank my friend and wonderful beta Daphodill for taking her time to correct my words. This story would royally suck without her. I also want to congratulate her on her Age of Edward contest entry, Bound. She won Second Place Public Vote! Yay, Daph! Go read it, it's amazing!**

**Now for my lovely friend and pre-reader PostApocalypicDepository, thanks for having my back and always supporting me. Love you girlie! Xo**

**P.S. All mistakes are mine :)**

**Careless Hearts **

**Chapter 2 – Broken**

**December 22nd**

Bella put her key into the ignition, turning it so that she could leave her life as she knew it. As the car engine roared to life, cheery Christmas music assaulted her ears as it danced through the speakers of the car stereo. She quickly turned the music off, squeezing her eyes shut momentarily; trying to forget it was almost_ that_ holiday. It reminded her of past Christmases she celebrated with Edward and Garrett, and sometimes with Alice. Silence and solitude was what she so desperately wanted as she drove. Bella knew she would be lonely this Christmas, and the uplifting music wouldn't allow her to forget. Instead of lifting her spirits, it did the opposite. Her heart was a bleeding, broken mess. She had destroyed two of the best friends she'd ever had. She broke their hearts, Bella was almost sure of it. No longer were they a completed puzzle, they were now separate, warped pieces.

The worst part, she no longer had her best friends.

Her life was a twisted mess, and in turn she had bent Garrett's heart until it finally snapped in two. Once Edward made it home, his heart would be equally broken. She felt she had single-handedly destroyed their relationships. Their lives together would be distant memories.

Bella believed everything was her fault.

In her frustration, Bella pressed the car's accelerator putting more and more distance between herself and the destruction she left behind. Tears blurred her eyes, and she fought to keep them clear, blinking the salty accumulation back as she drove away from her once happy life.

As Bella traveled over the county line, she saw Tillie's Tavern in her peripheral, wishing she could bottle all the dances, conversations–both shallow and deep- over beers, the laughs, and keeping them forever.

Never forgetting the good times.

Bella hoped one day she could open the bottle to relive her experiences one sip at a time, savoring each happy memory, making them last.

Bella fully intended on driving the two hours straight through to Alice's house, but it was getting late and the snow fell harder, making visibility difficult and driving conditions treacherous. She decided to pull off the two-lane highway at the next exit, hoping to find a room to stay in for the night. She found a log cabin establishment surrounded by pine trees, tucked off the road a few miles from the highway, and was aptly named "Broken Road Inn." This was as good as it was going to get, considering the hour and road conditions—she didn't have much choice.

As she put her car in park her phone rang.

"Yeah?" Bella whispered knowing it was Alice. Her throat was scratchy and sore from crying while she drove.

"Sweetie, where are you?"

"Hey, Alice." Her voice was still but a hoarse whisper as she spoke to her cousin.

"The roads are terrible and I don't want you to drive in this weather." Alice warned in a motherly tone, hugging Bella's heart just for a moment.

Bella cleared her throat, swallowing to soothe some of the pain. "I'm stopping for the night. I was going to call to let you know."

"Okay, Bells, where..." As Alice spoke Bella's phone battery gave out. She had forgotten to charge it, and her charger was at home lying on the kitchen table.

"Alice? Shit!" Bella cursed, remembering that she had placed the charger on the table next to her cup of coffee so she wouldn't forget it. _Damn it!_

Bella gathered her purse, hooking it over her shoulder, then zipping her puffy coat. She trudged through the snow to the door of the Inn. The blinding, billowing cold wind mixed with snow whipped her hair in front of her face as she struggled to open the door. Just then, the door swung open by someone on the inside and Bella lost her footing.

"Hey there! Welcome. You need a room for the night?" The stranger asked as he took hold of Bella's elbow, helping her through the door while trying to steady her. After stomping the snow from her shoes on the mat just inside the door, Bella, brushed her hair from her face.

"Yes, actually ... please. I'm thankful I found this place, otherwise I'd be sleeping in my car tonight."

"Oh dear," a tanned-skinned woman with jet black hair and loving dark chestnut eyes muttered. "Come on, get yourself in here and warm up. I'm Leah and that silly old man right there is my husband Quil." Bella offered a small smile and a tiny wave of her hand. "Why don't you stand by the fire and warm up a bit?" Leah offered.

Quil stood tall next to his wife. He was at least six foot and sturdy, his flannel shirt was tight over his biceps for an older man, most likely from hard labor of keeping up the grounds, Bella assumed. His hair was graying, and his deep-set wrinkles creased his face as he smiled, letting Bella know she was welcome.

Nodding her head, Bella walked to the crackling fire; the logs burned brightly in the massive stone fireplace situated along the far wall in the big lodge room adjacent to the check-in counter. She stood at the hearth admiring the stone work and thick, dark wood plank mantle which was decorated for Christmas with red plaid ribbons and huge pinecones intertwined throughout evergreen garlands. Brown and rusty tones of rock constructed the fireplace, which continued up to the vaulted ceiling. Terra cotta-colored mortar connected each uniquely shaped stone, making the shelf pop, and the room look warm and rustic.

The warm, cozy lodge showcased exposed beams and leather couches fixed in several seating arrangements with Native American printed wool throws hanging along the backs. The walls were decorated with the mounted heads of antelope, elk, deer, and a few very large moose. Bella imagined Quil hunting out in the woods tracking each animal, or at least the ones indigenous to this part of the country. She felt like she had taken a walk into the wilderness, it reminded her of camping trips she had taken as a child with her family, and then as an adult with Edward and Garrett.

Bella removed her hands slowly from her coat pockets and stretched her chilled fingers toward the heat source, instantly warming them. Her eyes fell to her left hand, feeling naked and incomplete without Edward's promise ring. Immediately, her heart ached thinking back to her night with Garrett, it was the reason she was standing in this spot warming said fingers in the first place. She had touched another man.

_Garrett._

She bailed, jumped ship, ran away. She had avoided the one person that made her feel safe, the one person that also made her act carelessly. She swore she had a hundred texts and voicemails from him on her phone, but she couldn't bring herself to listen to even one of them. She knew what he'd say, and she wasn't ready to hear apologies—she'd have to apologize as well, and she wasn't so sure she regretted every detail of their time together. Even if she did decide she'd want to read and listen to his words, she'd never be able to ... her phone was dead.

Bella's mind went back to Edward. She bailed on him too. She blinked back more of the familiar tears that seemed to constantly threaten her eyes as of late, and startled when she heard Leah's voice right behind her.

"Here ya go. I thought you'd like some hot cocoa to warm your insides." Leah placed the mug in Bella's hands. Bella sniffled, and Leah politely ignored her, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. "Why don't we get you all checked in, and then Quil will show you to your room. Poor dear, you look exhausted." Leah put her hand gently on Bella's shoulder and guided her to the front desk.

"Okay, thanks for this." She held the cocoa up slightly and gave a tight smile to Leah.

"You're very welcome, dear." She patted Bella on her arm. "Now what in the world were you out in this weather for? I bet your family is sick with worry."

"Um, no ma'am, I'm sure they know I'm just fine." Bella lied.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**December 23rd**

The wind, bitter and cold, whipped snow in Edward's face relentlessly as he sat crying, staring and muttering to the beautiful girl in the worn picture. He held her image tightly in his hand, wishing it were her warm body instead of a tattered piece of photo paper. Tiny crystals of ice stung his already red and swollen eyes, mocking him for being so clueless these past few months. He took every stinging bite from the ice, as he sat numb on his ass, trying to figure out how to get his _Love_ back.

_Fuck _echoed over and over in his head.

_I love her _replayed just as many times_. _

This shouldn't have solely been a decision for Bella to make. Edward was pissed, hurt, and undeniably broken. It was his life too that was literally fucked up because of Garrett's carelessness. He should have hit him harder; he should have beaten him repeatedly and hurt him the way that he was hurting right now. Instead, Edward only had harsh words to say before retreating to try and fix things with Bella. Never did Edward think Bella would leave him. He'd never leave her; he didn't leave to hurt her. He left to help her ... to help them.

Truly, Edward had only the best intentions when taking the job and heading overseas. He was trying to secure a future so that he could settle down with Bella and give her the best life possible. In hindsight, it was the stupidest decision he had ever made. His life wouldn't be the same without B. _Love _was broken, and Edward was scrambling to figure out where the hell she was and how to fix this mess.

He took his phone out quickly, his frozen fingers fumbled to dial someone ... anyone. The only other person Bella talked with, besides Garrett and himself, was her cousin, Alice. He hoped Alice would have some information on where Bella ran off to.

Edward's heart was so broken that twinges of pain prickled inside his chest and left him short of breath. He hadn't even had time to process exactly how things had ended up this shitty, but now he had to filter through the bits and pieces inside the pink letter that Bella deposited inside his mail slot, and the shit Garrett spewed at him a half hour ago. He was sure that both Bella and Garrett would remember he called twice a week, how could Bella forget? Garrett said Edward didn't call her at all … shit was so misconstrued and need to be set straight.

Bleary-eyed and broken hearted, Edward scrolled through his phone until he found the contact he was looking for. The phone couldn't connect fast enough. He was impatient, running his hand down the side of his cold denim-covered leg. "Come on ..." He took the gold ring off his pinky, the promise ring that had fallen from the pink letter. He thumbed the inscription that lay on the inside of the band, while he waited through each agonizing ring of the phone. Finally, the familiar voice he hadn't heard in quite some time settled his racing heart, but only for a second.

"Alice!" Is she … is Bella there? I need her. Oh God, I need her … she's gone."

"Edward? Where are—" She was cut off by pleas of help.

"Please Alice, this is … this is so fucked up right now. I need B, where is she?"

"I called her last night, she was on the way here, but then we were cut off." Alice became anxious. "I told her to stop driving and find a place to stay, then we were cut off. I thought her phone went dead, but she never called back ... not even today."

Dread circulated through Edward's body. He knew that the roads were sketchy at this point with all the snow and ice, he prayed Bella was safe.

"I'm going to look for her. She shouldn't be out in this weather. It's shitty in your neck of the woods, and she was driving right into it. Oh God."

"Try to relax, please. She's a smart girl, Edward."

"Smart or not, she shouldn't be alone in this weather, and especially if she stranded on the side of the road." He huffed.

Edward dragged his hands down his face, wiping the moisture from his eyes, and tried to clear his head so he could make a plan of action.

.

.

.

Garrett slumped in his chair feeling as though all the blood in his body had drained out of his veins. He had no life left inside of him since Edward showed up. Upset would be an understatement. He was brokenhearted about how things ended with Bella, yet he still craved her. He had always craved her. His whole world came crashing down in one night. He should have known their connection wouldn't be permanent, but he prayed Bella would feel a little something more toward him —even a fraction of what he felt for her.

In his fantasy world, he and Bella would live happily ever after.

Garrett was sorely mistaken. His fantasy had played in his head for almost as long as he'd known her. Now, his thoughts were of how horribly their relationship had ended. The piece that completed the puzzle of his heart was gone. His fairytale had ended. He had to talk to Bella, even if they could only be friends, he needed her back in his life.

"God, I'm such a dumbass!" He rubbed his red, swollen jaw. Pain surged with every beat of his heart, a sign he was still alive, even though he wished he wasn't in this moment.

He stared at the phone in his hand. Pictures of him and Bella from the past few months lit up his screen. The last one was from just a few days ago on the tree farm when she scoured the field for the perfect tree. Remembering her bright smile as he snapped the picture made his heart hurt. It was the first day he touched her, kissed her, and then made love to her. The last day they were officially friends.

"Arugh..." He roared. Tears formed in his gold-flecked brown eyes.

Garrett dropped his phone and pushed himself away from his desk. He paced the floor with his fists were clenched; he wanted to hit something. He fucking missed Bella. He needed her — he needed her in any way she would have him. She had always been his one constant, the one he longed to talk to. Her beauty was more than he could describe. She was everything to him. If he could only have her as a friend, then he would settle for that ... friendship would have to be good enough.

All he knew was that he couldn't live without her.

Garrett slowed his breathing and his frantically beating heart, before dialing Bella's number. He waited, listening to the ring, ring, ringing, but Bella continued to ignore his call. He left another message for her as her voice mail suggested.

"I'm so sorry, honey ... I really am. Please don't ignore me. I ... I ... please call me back." Garrett hung up the phone with a lump in his throat and an ache in his gut.

He grabbed his coat and the bottle of vodka he had tucked away inside his desk drawer, and left work. He didn't know where he was going, he just needed to get out of there. After tossing the vodka in the passenger seat and climbing inside, Garrett slammed his door. His next thought was to drive ... just drive.

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**Song for this chapter is Broken by Lifehouse**


	3. Chapter 3

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight, but this story is mine.**

**Thank you to my pre-reader PostApocalypticDepository, I value your opinion, and I'm very lucky to have you as a friend. xo**

**A HUGE thank you to my amazing beta, Daphodill. She makes me laugh at myself, like a lot! Every time I think of Google now, it makes me giggle like a little weirdo. *total inside joke! Sometimes I think I'm technologically inept ... no actually, I know I am! But truly, she is so amazing and I am honored that she wants to beta this story, so enjoy!**

**Ca****rele****ss Hearts**

**Chapter 3 – Breakdown More**

**December 22nd**

"So, I assume you will be staying for the next few days?" Leah questioned, as she wrote down Bella's information.

"I don't think so. I need to be at my cousins by Christmas Eve." Bella bit her lip and thought about how horrible the roads had been, and how they would be worse in the morning, with all the snow that was falling.

"Bella, I'm not so sure the roads will be manageable, especially with your car, It'd be tough even with a four wheel drive vehicle. Why don't you just pay as you stay? And if you're here on Christmas Eve, you're welcome to celebrate with me, Quil, our daughter Kate, my sister Sue — she's our cook, and her son Seth."

Bella hesitated. After her parents died, she hadn't spent a holiday without at least one of her closest companions. It was either Alice or Edward, when they were just friends ... when he was home, but mainly, she had spent holidays with Garrett. She silently wondered how it would feel to be all alone. Even though she wanted some solitude, it would be very different ... maybe too lonely.

"I'll be fine, I don't want to intrude or anything." She gave Leah a quick smile. By that time, Quil was back inside the lobby.

"All ready, Bella?" Quil shivered as he shrugged off his coat and hung it on the wrought iron coat tree.

"Um, sure." Bella muttered. "Thanks for your offer." Bella said to Leah, and then turned around, tucking her wallet inside her purse, and retreating up the stairs, following Quil.

Bella counted ten rooms total, and wondered how many were occupied. She had only seen one parked car. Was someone else seeking shelter or did the blue four-door belong to Leah and Quil?

Quil showed Bella to her room, at the end of the hallway. She thanked him, and he patted her shoulder.

"You are more than welcome, Bella. If you need anything at all, please ask, and breakfast is at eight a.m. in the dining hall." He walked out the door, shutting it quietly. Bella fell on the bed exhausted from the day. Quil, had graciously braved the bitter cold winds and snow, retrieving Bella's overnight bag while she checked in, and paid Leah for her room. She eyed her bag, knowing that all she had in this world was inside that red duffel.

"I'm so tired ... I need a shower and some sleep," Bella said out loud, as if she were talking to someone in the room. Her eyelids were heavy, but she pushed herself off the bed and walked tiredly to the bathroom to rinse the day's stress from her body.

Her muscles were still tense from white-knuckling the last little bit of her drive; the steamy water felt amazing running over her shoulders and down her torso, warming her flesh all the way to her toes. Bella's thoughts went to the pink letter she had dropped in Edward's mail slot earlier in the day and the many unanswered texts and phone calls from Garrett over the last few days. She tipped her head back, letting the water soak her brunette locks and closed her eyes, wishing this day would finally end. She loved Edward, but she also loved Garrett. Bella squeezed a small dollop of body wash into her palm, lathering her hands. Her heart beat erratically as she ran her soapy fingers down her body and between her legs, quickly moving away from her most sensitive area. She didn't know if it was because of her love, or her best friend that made the rhythms of her heart-beat fluctuate, but she guessed it was because of Edward. She missed him more than words could express. Tears sprung from her eyes as she tried to finish her shower. Her fingers quickly migrated over the rest of her body, quickly washing her skin. Bella chastised herself for having sexual thoughts when that was what put her in this lonely room in the first place.

She also missed Garrett's strong arms when he wrapped her up and squeezed just tight enough to chase her sorrows away. He made her feel secure and happy again. She needed one of those hugs right about now.

The queen sized bed looked inviting, and would have to soothe Bella for now. She peeled the flannel sheet and down comforter back, settling herself in the middle of the bed. She was sandwiched between the mattress and warm, fluffy down of the bedding and instantly drifted off to sleep.

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**December 23rd**

The next day was just as Leah had predicted. The snow was too much for Bella's little car to trudge through the rest of the journey to Alice's, so Bella made her way to the dining hall. Breakfast was served at eight a.m., and her stomach protested from not having food since early the day before.

"Come on in." A woman, who looked to be a few years older than Leah, stood in the doorway that connected the kitchen to the dining room and welcomed Bella.

"You must be Bella. Leah told me you might be staying a few days here with us." The woman stuck her hand out in greeting. "I'm Sue ... the cook, the whatever-needs-to-be-done-around-here employee, and sister of Leah." Sue chuckled at her long, drawn out job title as she took Bella's hand.

"Hello ... nice to meet you Sue." Bella smiled at the friendly, dark-haired women standing in front of her. She was slightly heavy set, with pretty, dark chocolate eyes and black hair with just a few streaks of grey at her temples. Sue was wearing an apron that covered her to her knees, just the sleeves of her plaid shirt and her dark blue jeans showed from underneath.

"I've got waffles with peanut butter and maple syrup and eggs ready. Would you like some?" Sue walked Bella over to the massive table in the dining hall, sitting her down on one of the hand carved wooden chairs, not waiting for Bella's response. Bella wasn't planning on turning down a home cooked meal, and it didn't look like Sue would have cared what her answer was. She was going to feed Bella, and that was that.

Bella's stomach growled loudly, announcing that she would accept the offer of breakfast.

"Yes, that sounds delicious. I'd love some breakfast." Bella giggled at her stomachs announcement as she licked her lips in anticipation.

"I'll bring you coffee and orange juice, too. Fresh squeezed ... that other stuff is for the birds."

Bella chuckled at Sue; she could tell just by the way she got excited about a small thing such as freshly squeezed juice that she was most likely a foodie. Bella suddenly missed her mom, Renee - she had always loved cooking, but Bella never had the desire to learn much from her when she was younger. Now she wished she would have spent the time with her mom, savoring each recipe that Renee wanted to teach her.

Bella was startled as Sue reached around her, setting a mug of steaming black coffee and glass of juice on the placemat in front of her.

"Would you like anything in your coffee, sweetie?" Sue wiped her hands with her apron, waiting for Bella to respond.

"Oh, no thank you, this is fine, Sue." Bella picked up the OJ and took a big swig of the sweet juice. "This is delicious."

"Only the best for our guests. I'll be right back with your breakfast." Sue walked back into the kitchen quickly, whistling a Christmas tune.

Floor to ceiling windows adorned one wall of the dining hall, and Bella gazed out at the pine trees covered in white. They looked like they had been dusted with powdered sugar. It was so serene, and Bella finally felt a calm that she hadn't had in a long time. Maybe being stranded here wasn't such a bad thing after all. The whistling tune of "Jingle Bells" alerted Bella to the fact that her breakfast was being served.

"This smells sinfully delicious." Bella smiled, picking up her fork and cutting a bite of her fluffy waffles. She dredged the bite through the maple and peanut butter that had melted to the side of her waffle.

"Mmm..." Bella closed her eyes as she chewed her first bite. "This is..." She chewed some more, and then swallowed before continuing. "Mmm..."

Sue giggled at Bella and her loss of words. "Do you mind if I join you? I usually sit down with the guests and eat my meals with them. I've met a lot of interesting people by breaking bread with them."

"Not at all, please ... I'd love that."

"Let me grab my plate, I'll be right back."

Whistling, Sue retreated once again to the kitchen, while Bella enjoyed a bite of her cheesy scrambled eggs.

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Sue had pretty much extracted much of Bella's life story from her by the time they'd finished breakfast. Bella didn't understand how that had happened, except that she felt so utterly comfortable here at the Broken Road Inn, and Sue's presence was instantly soothing. Bella left out the parts of her cheating on Edward; and the part of losing her best friend Garrett —she wasn't ready to go there just yet. Not with a stranger, but Sue felt like a surrogate mother and she felt comforted in her presence.

"Well Bella, since you're staying at least another night, if not two ... would you like to bake cookies this afternoon?" Sue rubbed her hands in front of her in excitement.

"Yes, that would be fun." Bella stood up from the table, picking up her plate and Sue's, and headed in the direction of the kitchen.

"Not so fast, little missy. That's my job." Sue protested.

"No, really, I'd like to make myself useful. You cooked, I'll clear." Bella smiled, dodging Sue's outstretched hands.

Sue shook her head and smiled, her eyes crinkling at the sides as Bella whisked the plates away.

.

.

.

Leah and Quil were just making their way into the dining hall when Bella was leaving to go back to her room.

"Hi there,Bella, did Sue get you fixed up with some breakfast?" Quil said as he pulled out a chair for Leah.

"She did, and it was delicious." Bella patted her stomach.

"Where are you headed off to?" Leah asked as if she wanted Bella to stay and chat.

"Oh, I'm going to go back up to my room and relax. I think I ate myself into a food coma." Bella teased. "I'm going to help Sue bake cookies this afternoon."

"Sue is a wizard in the kitchen. Her cookies are prize-winning treats," Leah added. "She takes after our mom in that respect—she was always a whirlwind in the kitchen. I was always an outdoors girl ... no cooking for me."

"Isn't that the truth!" Quil blurted out with a deep laugh resonating from his belly. Leah playfully slapped his belly in retaliation.

"I'll just go get our plate's, hun." Quil hastily made his way to the kitchen.

"So where have you two been?" Bella asked Leah. She had been told that breakfast was served at eight, and they were more than two hours late.

"Oh ... our phone lines are down. We were outside making sure that there weren't any downed trees lying on them."

"Oh ... I guess that answers my next question."

"What's that dear?"

"I was going to ask to use your phone to call my cousin and let her know I am safe and not to worry about me. Also, I was going to tell her that I might not make it there by Christmas Eve." Bella wringed her hands, nervous all of the sudden, because she knew Alice would be worried sick about her.

"I see, well ... when the phone lines start working again I'll let you know." Leah gave Bella a sympathetic smile.

"Okay, thank you, Leah."

Bella scurried off to her room.

When Bella passed the closed doors on her way to her room, she heard the sound of a blow dryer. She wondered who else was stranded along with her.

.

.

.

As if on autopilot, Garrett's truck carried him down their daily route to Bella's house. He needed for her to listen.

He'd force her to listen to his apology.

Garrett didn't care if she was wrapped in the arms of Edward when he arrived, well, he did, but he needed to make things right between the two of them. He didn't care if Edward forgave him for their mistakes or not, but Bella—she mattered, and he couldn't go on without her in his life.

Upon arriving, he was stunned to see Edward tentatively walking to his car empty handed. No Bella. Garrett saw the smeared wetness on his Edward's reddened face, tears that he had hastily tried wiping away. Edward's head snapped up to look at the truck approaching. And with hatred in his eyes, he puffed up his chest readying himself for what looked like confrontation number two.

Garrett rolled down his window after putting his truck in park.

"Get the fuck out of here, man!" Edward roared. His left hand swiped away a new set of tears that secretly slipped from his jaded eyes. Advancing toward the truck, Edward kicked the driver's door, making a fairly large dent. "Haven't you done enough? You need to leave ... NOW!"

Garrett swung open the door of his black F250, grabbing his friend. Edward cocked his arm back to deliver another punch. This time Garrett was ready, his jaw couldn't take another impact.

"Calm down." Garrett struggled with his writhing friend, if he could even consider him that anymore. He understood the pain Edward was feeling and he accepted that he was angry at him.

"She's gone, Garrett. She fucking left, and didn't make it to Alice's, and ... fuck!" Edward stopped wriggling; Garrett cautiously released some of the tightness around Edward's arms. When Garrett was assured that Edward wouldn't swing a fist toward him, he let him go completely. Edward stumbled backward, putting distance between them.

"What? What do you mean she left?" Garrett backed away, staring at the front door of Bella's house.

"She broke up with me in a fucking letter and moved away ... that's what I mean!" Edward turned to walk to his car.

"Edward. Was she supposed to be with Alice?" Garrett asked, and Edward nodded numbly.

"Do you know when she left?"

"Alice said she was supposed to arrive yesterday, but she never made it." Edward's brows furrowed deep with worry. "They got cut off just as she was telling Alice her location." Edward sighed and looked to the darkening sky.

"Shit!" Garrett's leg started bouncing nervously. "We need to locate her."

"There's no 'we' in this equation. I'll handle it. You've done enough —stay the fuck away from B." Edward gave Garrett a sideways look and opened the door to his car, getting in and starting the engine.

Garrett knew that until Bella was found safe and sound, he wouldn't stay away, he wouldn't feel better. He jumped in his truck reversing into the street, giving Edward enough room to back out as well. He'd follow Edward and help. Everyone knows that a 4x4 truck beats a Volvo on snow-covered roads any day. So he was essentially Edward's back-up plan. But he wanted to find Bella just as badly.

With his cell phone in hand, Garrett voice-dialed Edward, informing him that he was going to follow him to help find Bella. Edward was resistant, but knew he couldn't shake Garrett from his tail with the roads being as dicey as they were.

"I'm telling you Garrett, I can find her on my own. I don't need help, and even if I did ... you'd be the last fucking person I'd call." Edward was seething, and also panicking, knowing the road B took to travel to Alice's, was the road that was most dangerous in inclement weather.

Garrett had taken a sharp tone with Edward; his hand gripped the steering wheel, while the other clenched his phone. He wanted to throw the iPhone through the snow-splattered windshield, wishing it would hit Edward in the head, knocking some sense into him.

"Don't care, asshole. I'm following you until you get stuck and beg for my assistance." He paused minutely, taking a deep breath. "Then we'll both try to find her together, whether you like it or not. She means the world to me, don't you _ever _forget that!"

Edward knew that his car might not make the long drive in the snow and ice, but he didn't want help from Garrett. The guy that had fucked his girl, ruined his relationship with her, and now refused to leave them alone. Edward wanted nothing more than to find Bella, but he didn't want to rely on the one person he had relied on in years past. That had gotten him nowhere, and fast. This possibly wouldn't turn out positive for either one of them, on so many levels.

"What the fuck ever!" Edward pushed end on his phone and held it tightly in hopes that a call from Bella would come through.

Garrett grabbed the vodka that was haphazardly lying in the passenger seat, and took a quick pull from the bottle. He held the alcohol in his mouth swallowing slowly, letting it burn his tongue and throat. He waited for the familiar warmth in his stomach before tossing the bottle in the seat behind him, knowing he needed to be alert for the long night ahead of him. A part of him felt a shred of hope when Edward declared that Bella had broken up with him. He was now a man on a mission, maybe the knight in shining armor that would rescue his true love.

Well, he could hold on to his wishful thinking, but until Bella was found and laid things out on the table for both him and Edward, there was no use in getting all pistons fired up.

**Song for this chapter is: Breakdown More by Eric Hutchinson**

**Thank you so much for all the follows, favorites, and reviews. I truly appreciate them.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all characters. I own this plot.**

**Important A/N: at the bottom of this chapter. **

**Thank you to those that have followed, favorited and reviewed my story. It makes this girl happy!**

**The lovely Daphodill is my friend and beta. PostApocalypticDepository is also my lovely friend and pre-reader. These two girls are amazing, and I'm so lucky to have their unwavering support! Muah! **

**Careless Hearts**

**Chapter 4 – Sweetest Goodbye**

**December 23rd**

With the dark of night came the dropping of mercury. It was fucking cold, and Edward was sick with worry. His hands found their way into his hair, as they always did when he was frustrated. His hair much shorter than when he'd left some months ago, his locks were still long enough to get a good grip. The sting of the pull somehow helped to focus Edward's frantic thoughts. His mind played out scenarios that made his stomach churn. He pictured a scared, cold Bella stranded on some godforsaken road or in a ditch with hypothermia taking over. In this weather, it wouldn't be long before_ Love_ was near death's door.

He couldn't help the way his mind worked, especially since he had been on hellacious missions rescuing people from all sorts of predicaments. He kept telling himself that Bella was a smart girl, and remembered she always had supplies in her car in the event of car trouble or inclement weather. Her father had made sure she knew what was important to have in the trunk of her car at all times, in the event of an emergency. Bella had once or twice rolled her eyes at Charlie's over-protectiveness when telling Edward and Garrett of her dad's insistent badgering about road safety.

Edward was thankful for Charlie at this very moment, knowing he had been the pesky parent every kid hated to listen to because of his constant pestering and concern for his child's safety.

Garrett's headlights were blaring in to Edward's eyes from the rear-view mirror, blinding him as they took the winding road with little shoulder, out of town; Garrett was driving much too closely. Several times Edward flipped Garrett the bird. In return, Garrett would honk, pissing Edward off even more making Garrett laugh.

Edward's car was going much slower now that he was forty-five minutes out of town. The road crews had not been on this highway as of yet, or the snow had re-accumulated. Whichever it was, Edward didn't know how much longer his Volvo could continue trudging through the thick white snow that kept falling. At one point, he pulled over as far as he could manage onto the shoulder. Hearing crunching snow under his tires, he Googled every motel an hour out of their town.

He figured Bella wouldn't have made it much farther than that, given the road conditions. On a positive note: so far he hadn't seen Bella's Chevy Malibu, or any other cars stranded for that matter, in a ditch. The bad news: there were nine motels he needed to check out, hoping Bella had sought shelter in one of them. He called four of the establishments, and no one named Bella Swan had checked in.

Edward had to beg and plead with three of the motels for information. For security purposes they weren't supposed to divulge either way. Given the weather, and the realization that the person in question was in fact not a guest, the managers of each motel overlooked policy, giving Edward the info he was asking for. The fourth motel gave Edward his answer without a fight.

Edward thanked each clerk or manager he spoke to and they wished him luck and offered up prayers that he would eventually find his girl.

The other five motels were off to the east and west, and didn't answer. Edward suspected phone lines were downed, so he would have to check them out in person. This would take forever in the unrelenting snow, at least a day if not two. He also knew he'd have to suck it up and ask Garrett for a ride.

Garrett followed Edward. He was nervous. Not only was he nervous about Bella's whereabouts, he was nervous about what they would discover when she was eventually found.

They were going to find her ... he had no doubt about that.

He wouldn't stop until she was on the other end of his sorry excuses of apology and regret, although his regret was only in the form of her not accepting his love, but he'd never come completely clean with that. He wanted so badly to see her smiling eyes, to hear her high pitched laugh – the one he had gotten so used to over the past ... well ... forever. Every time his thoughts were on Bella, which was all the time, he felt as though someone reached inside his chest and ripped a chunk of his heart out, leaving him exposed and bleeding. Garrett longed to touch Bella's soft skin as he wrapped her in one of his soothing bear hugs. She always loved those. He yearned for the way her hands rubbed up and down his back, tracing his shoulder blades, then his spine, her cheek resting on his chest, his nose in her hair, while he squeezed her just tight enough.

He also dreaded that fact that Bella could quite possibly turn her back on him and walk away, not accepting anything from him at all. That would kill him. He wasn't the same since he had left her house the morning after they slept together. Their connection that night was something he had never felt before, she felt like home. Although it was but an instant, it was an eternity in his mind. It all felt right, until it didn't.

Garrett also knew that the return of Edward came the _almos_t guaranteed fact that Bella wouldn't need him anymore. Shit. She obviously didn't need him the last few days anyway—she wouldn't answer to any of his calls or texts. He had majorly fucked up in his misguided attempts at a chance with his secret love. How could one night fuck up the last seventeen years?

His thoughts were all over the board, and in turn he didn't realize his lead foot was pressing a bit too hard on the accelerator, his headlights quickly filled Edward's rear window.

"Oops." Garrett chuckled at Edward's middle finger being tossed in his direction. "Fucker." He grinned and honked his horn in retaliation, finding some pleasure in annoying Edward.

"Uptight bastard." He kept flinging insults in Edward's direction. Even though he knew Edward wouldn't hear his words, and he had every right to hate him, disown him even — he still felt a smidgen better annoying his ... ex-friend.

When Edward had pulled to the shoulder, Garrett followed his lead, waiting to see if Edward would call, saying he needed a ride. As much as Edward was annoying him, he couldn't forget the past twenty years of friendship or overlook his well being, his Volvo was not going to make it much longer in the snow. They both knew that, but for Edward to ask him of all people for help, would be like swallowing razors. Garrett sort of looked forward to the grimace on Edward's face at the first razor being swallowed. It was just a question of when.

Instead, he waited in his truck for thirty minutes while Edward did whatever he was doing in the car. For a minute, he wondered if Edward pulled over to take a cat nap, but then he saw the illuminated phone in Edward's hand and it sent ripples of hope through his body. Was Bella on the other line speaking with Edward? Had he located her?

Garrett was a mess, waiting ... not so patiently. His heart rapped out uneven beats.

Eventually, Garrett opened the door to his truck, jumping to the ground, his feet crunching through the powdery snow. The wind swirled and hissed at Garrett as he approached the Volvo's driver window.

He was pissed he had to knock.

"Fucker—." Garrett murmured when he had to knock again on the window. He pulled his cap down over his ears and tightened his coat around his neck, waiting on Edward to hit the button for the window.

"What's going on?" Garrett asked. He was at the end of his rope. He was cold, tired, and not in the mood for Edward's cranky ass.

"Doing a little recon," Edward said sharply and frowned at Garrett. His mood was still the same amount of shitty with a hint of 'I need some rest,' and a 'get the fuck outta my face' thrown in for good measure.

"Okay, so what's the plan, Sarge?" Garrett spit back, trying not to shiver and show any vulnerability.

"Ha, ha, smart ass. I'm trying to locate Bella. I've called several motels between home and around here in hopes she's staying at one of them."

"And?" Garrett was just about to open the back door of the Volvo and slip inside. His fingers were red and immobile, and his eyes were watering from the sting of the bitter cold wind and snow. He needed to warm up.

"No luck. There are about five other places that won't answer. I'm guessing the snow has knocked down some phone lines or something."

Garrett nodded. "Maybe we should head to one of the places that's not answering, and then grab a room for the night." Garrett said a silent prayer that Edward would agree. "Then we can get an early start in the morning." Hell, it was almost morning. It was past midnight, and they'd be lucky to get four hours of sleep by the time they actually made their way to the motel.

Nodding his head in agreement, Edward said, "I think this is as far as my car is going to make it."

A smile threatened Garrett's perfect, pouty lips; they involuntarily twitched, but he reined it in."Get in my truck." Came Garrett's monotone response.

The door to the silver Volvo opened quickly as Edward's long legs unfolded, and his boots hit the snow-covered pavement. Grabbing the coat he had flung in the backseat, not bothering to put it on, he scurried to Garrett's truck and hopped inside. He didn't have a bag, only his coat and keys

The truck was warm and still running. Heated air blew from the vents warming both their faces and outstretched fingertips.

"Where to boss?"

"Garrett, I'm not in the fucking mood. Stop with the_ Sarge_ and _Boss_, shit already. Take the next exit, and then turn left. There are two motels east of here, about a mile apart. We can stay in the second one if Bella's hasn't checked in to the first. Tomorrow we'll head west, if we don't find her there."

"Roger."

Edward shook his head, trying so hard not to punch Garrett in the arm, or better yet his face again. He didn't want him to lose control of the truck and have them both stranded when Bella was the one needing saved.

.

.

.

With the down comforter pulled up to her chin, oblivious to the ministrations of the two most important men in her life, Bella settled in for her second night at the Inn. _She dreamt of warm, strong arms, bear hugs, green eyes, Christmas trees, promise rings, eggnog, golden flecked brown eyes, daytime texts, lit candles and lanterns. _Two men who had similar qualities and both loved her.

The pale skin under down heated up, beads of perspiration glittered on her brow. Her eyes squeezed, and a heart raced. _Long goodbyes, tears wiped away, unanswered texts, no calls, forgotten love, forbidden touches, and careless hearts._

_Brown eyes wide open, unfamiliar surroundings, remembering why she lay there, trying to catch a breath, teary eyes, and a delicate hand covering a mouth. _

Bella sat up. This was wrong. She needed to speak to Garrett, she needed to know that Edward was okay; she needed to let Alice know she was all right. She was ready to face her fears, but she would have to wait—the phone lines at the Inn were down.

Wiping her tears, Bella dressed warmly in her pajama pants, sliding them up her legs and pulling the Marines hoodie over her head. She scooped her hair off her neck, scrunching it into a messy bun on top of her head. Edward always loved her hair this way. He also loved taking the band out as he made love to her, watching her chestnut tresses cascade down her back, placing soft kisses at the base of her neck as he cupped her breasts in his large hands, pumping his hips into her from behind.

Her thoughts had once again strayed.

Quickly tucking the cookbook under her arm, Bella quietly opened the door to her room, and made her way downstairs to the Lodge room. She hoped the fire would still be burning; she wanted to read recipes from Sue's favorite cookbook, relishing in the sights, sounds, and smell of the crackling fire as she warmed herself. Sue had offered to teach Bella a few of her favorite recipes that she was planning to prepare for Christmas Eve dinner, and Bella accepted graciously, wanting to learn from her new found friend.

Cookie making yesterday afternoon was a success. Dozens of frosted sugar cookies, Pfeffernüsse, and gingersnaps were waiting to be devoured. Bella felt like one of the powdered sugar dusted trees outside, when she had finally made it back to her room. She had a fine dusting of that same sugar in her hair and on her clothes. It must have been when she made the frosting for the sugar cookies. She didn't realize that turning the stand mixer on high and then adding the sugar would result in an explosion.  
As Bella stood in shock, Sue hurriedly flipped the mixer to off, laughing so hard she had to take a seat or fear that she'd pee her pants.

It was now Christmas Eve morning. Six a.m. to be exact, and Bella knew that, in a few short hours, she'd smell the smell of fried pork – either bacon or sausage - eggs, and most assuredly pancakes. Sue spoke highly of her pancakes and promised Bella a stack of them for breakfast.

A small smile played on Bella's face thinking of her new friend and how comfortable she was in her presence. She could actually see herself staying on longer, maybe even getting a job here and helping Sue in the kitchen. The wheels were turning, and in a positive direction for once. She was moving on. She had to; there were no other options.

**Song choice for this chapter: Sweetest Goodbye by Maroon 5**

**I love this song ... please go and listen to it. Ahh...**

**A/N: A Pfeffernüsse is a very small cookie, about the size of a two liter pop lid. My grandma Freida used to have them at Christmas, actually making them around Thanksgiving so that the flavors would meld. Our recipe called for anise, cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, and allspice. These cookies were my favorite that she made, and bring back so many fond memories of my grandma. My great-grandma passed this recipe on to my grandma. It's one of the recipes that she brought with her when she immigrated to the United States from Germany. My great-grandmother spoke German only, never learning English.**

**If anyone is interested in the recipe just let me know.**

*****Side note/rant/disclaimer? **

**I received a review about this story that was a little unfair. This particular person (guest reviewer) said in so many words that I was being disrespectful of our military by having Bella cheat on Edward while he was deployed. While I never said that he was deployed, he was working a government job rescuing people. He **_**had**_** been in the military previously, and **_**had**_** been deployed in his military career, but I never really specified what his job title was in his latest mission. But in regards to cheating ... people cheat no matter what their professions are. It doesn't matter; it is still hurtful and not right. I guess if my Edward had been a school teacher it wouldn't have been so bad for her? That's hypocritical. I meant no disrespect while writing this story, and let's be fair; this is FICTION, quit taking my words and twisting it into something it's not and thinking it's real life. And for the record I DO appreciate what the men and women in our military sacrifice for our country, and for all of us. One last thing ... If you are a 'guest reviewer' please consider acting like a guest, one that has been invited into my story. Behave like you would if you were invited into someone's home. You use your manners. At least that's how I was raised. If you don't like something you're reading, just click the X, leave and be done. That's all...I apologize for the rant, but not for my story content :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight; I own this plot.**

**I love my pre-reader PostApocalypticDepository, she gives input and love with every chapter I send to her. Thank you!**

**AND ... I couldn't do this without Daphodill, my beta. I can't say enough wonderful things about her. She knows her stuff and helps me along the way. She has taught me so much, and I am slowly learning. It may not seem like it to her when I send her my chapters to work on, but she has been amazing and gracious! Thanks Daph. Xo**

**Thank you to all that have reviewed, followed, and put Careless Hearts on your favorites list. I hope you all love this chapter. It's one of my favorites. **

**Careless Hearts**

**Chapter** **5-Sad**

Sharing a bed with Edward was the last thing he wanted. Garrett was sure it was the last thing Edward wanted, too. In fact, he was positive.

"I'm not sleeping with you Garrett." Edward said with a snarl.

"Oh, come on, Eddie, you've slept with me a hundred times before with no complaints." Garrett winked at Edward and blew him a kiss.

"That was then."

"I didn't slap your hand away when you woke me up trying to spoon me."

"I thought you were Bella, you fucker! I was asleep." Edward closed the bathroom door and flipped up the toilet seat to take a piss.

A proverbial slap in the face, hearing Bella's name in_ that_ context took Garrett's ego down a notch. He knew Edward was hurting; he hurt too, damn it. He needed to make some apologies, starting now ... with Edward.

After the first motel the men stopped at with no luck locating Bella, they stayed true to their plan and ended up at the second—Twilight Motel.

Garrett was already in bed in when the bathroom door swung open. He sat up with his back against the headboard.

"Hey man, I think we need to talk. Or rather, I need to talk." He rubbed his hand over his face, biting the side of his cheek, and waiting on a response.

"Don't want to hear it. It's been on constant replay in my mind since I read Bella's letter." Edward climbed into bed, scooting so close to the edge that the slightest movement would have knocked him to the floor.

"Just hear me out, please?" Garrett spoke with sincerity, but he was unsure of how he was going to say everything he needed to say, and not get murdered by Edward. He deserved to hear all the sordid details—there were many.

He was met with silence, but he continued anyway.

"When you left, Bella stayed away from me. You know that's not how things were in the past. I tried calling her, texting her, but she'd always give me excuses for why she couldn't hang out." Garrett paused, thinking of how to continue.

"One day I was near the hardware store, and I decided to stop in. Bella, didn't see me at first, her head was down, reading or something. She looked so sad, Edward." Garrett took a deep breath. Edward shrugged the covers over his shoulder and stared at the wall next to the bed.

"Anyway, I went over to where she was sitting. She was looking at a parts book, trying to order something for a customer, and I asked her to go out and have a drink with me at Tillie's. Of course she said no. She looked so thin. Her eyes didn't sparkle like our Bella, Edward. I was worried sick about her."

Edward cleared his constricting throat. A lump formed, and he tried to swallow it down.

"That afternoon, I called her, and she finally answered her phone. I told her that I wasn't going to take no for an answer. That I would be picking her up to go to Tillie's whether she liked it or not. Then I hung up on her before she could tell me no."

Garrett looked over at the back of Edward's head before continuing. He hoped he was still listening, and this wasn't all in vain.

"I picked her up, like any other time we went out while you were away. Nothing different. We drank, danced, and chatted. It was then that she told me you had only called her twice since you had been gone." Garrett tipped his head back against the headboard, tapping it a few times.

"I couldn't imagine that you would ever leave and only call her a few times, man. You two used to Skype like every night when you were in Afghanistan." He paused, waiting for something from Edward, anything. He decided to continue his recount of his time with Bella.

"She felt like you left her. She asked me why you abandoned her."

Edward shut his eyes tightly; tears threatened to spill when Garrett mentioned that Bella had felt abandoned. He bit his bottom lip hard; he didn't want to show emotion in front of Garrett. He took a few deep breaths and willed his tears away.

"Ed ... we didn't know what had happened to you. Honest to God. I think it was at that point that I let myself give in to the feelings that I had always secretly carried for Bella."

Trying to get a grip on his racing heart and failing, Edward spoke up. "Stop ... just stop."

"You have to hear this Edward. I'm not stopping until you hear everything." Garrett paused minutely, waiting on any more protests.

Edward didn't want to hear anything else. He had heard enough. He knew that the more memories Garrett relived, that he wouldn't be able to get the picture of Garrett sleeping with Bella out of his mind. It took everything he had to keep his restraint.

A long huff billowed out of Edward's lungs. He wasn't sure he could handle the memories.

"So, Bella started having bad dreams. She told me that she was taking something to help her sleep. I'm not sure if it was over the counter or prescribed, I didn't ask. She did tell me that she had nightmares most nights of the week. She also said that only about two of seven nights was she graced with happiness—it was when she dreamt of you, Edward." Garrett wiped a tear that rolled down his cheek. He hadn't realized he was crying.

"Garrett, I fucking called her two nights a week. Every week, I never missed a week ... not ever." Edward whispered.

"Why would she lie to me?" Garrett questioned.

"Think about it ... you said yourself she was taking sleeping pills. She obviously didn't remember the calls. She thought they were dreams..." His voice trailed off. Tears had now dripped from Edward's evergreen eyes; he let them fall, soaking his pillow. He needed to grieve. He wasn't going to stop the tears; he knew it was going to get worse from this point on. He understood Garrett's need to confess, and he wouldn't stop him until he purged himself.

"In my mind you were never coming back. I didn't want to say it to Bella, though—that I thought you were dead. But I really thought that something had happened to you. By you not calling ... or Bella thinking you weren't calling, I assumed you were MIA."

It took Garrett a minute to get his wits about him. He was sinking; he felt as though he were in quick sand, his body being pulled down into an unknown oblivion. As hard as he tried to lift his legs and free himself, the pull in the opposite direction was harder, sucking him under.

"Edward, I thought I was doing the right thing. I kept her occupied, just like always. Every time you leave, I keep that girl happy, or try to. I love her Edward. I'm sorry. I know you don't want to hear that, but I fucking love her so much. I couldn't bear to see her hurting. So I ate lunch with her at Newton's, we had movie nights, she fixed dinner – well as good as she knows how to –" Garrett chuckled, and a small smile tugged at Edward's lips.

"We ended up drinking, dancing, and shooting the shit with friends at Tillie's on Saturday nights."

Memories instantly whirled inside Edward's head, remembering the slow sexy dances that he shared with Bella. His arms protectively ensconced around her body as they swayed to Amos Lee and the sultry tunes of Mazzy Star on the worn, wooden floor of Tillie's Tavern.

"We would text. I made sure, every day that she was doing okay. She always said yes she was okay, but I knew better. We've known her since sixth grade. We are best friends—we know her, Ed."

Edward kept quiet; he knew all of these facts. He could tell when B was upset, just by her look, or the tone in her sweet voice. He should have known that Garrett would know those same signs.

The bed rustled; Edward turned on his back and sat up, positioning himself the same way Garrett was sitting. He didn't want to be in a vulnerable position when the bomb was dropped on him. He needed to be strong.

"So when I saw she wasn't going to decorate for Christmas, I forced her to go tree hunting with me. You know she loves Christmas." Edward nodded his head.

"I didn't want her to miss out on her favorite holiday. So we cut down a crappy tree that I loved, and she hated." Garrett laughed, remembering the lopsided mess he practically forced Bella to buy. He convinced her that it would be beautiful with some TLC.

"Um ... this is where it's going to get difficult." Long pause. Edward nodded his head and closed his eyes; he drew his knees up to his chest and covered his eyes with his hands.

"I made eggnog ... with brandy. We both drank more than we should have." Another long pause stilled the room; the only sound was the breath escaping Edward's throat as he tried hard to keep his shit together.

Garrett's fingers tapped nervously on his thigh. "I sat on the couch and watched Bella decorate the tree, and when she was finished, she laid her head in my lap."

The bed started vibrating as Edward's leg started bouncing up and down, his head now tucked in his folded arms on his knees.

"I ran my hand through her hair, and then I pulled her on my lap to straddle me." Garrett stopped, wondering if he should continue with such explicit details, but Edward wasn't stopping him. So he continued.

Garrett lowered his voice because remembering was painful, and telling his friend was excruciating. "I kissed her. She hesitated, but then she kissed me back."

A sob tore through Edward's chest, tears fell uncontrollably, and his blood pressure was rising ... he could feel the blood coursing through his veins, making him light-headed.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Edward managed to mutter.

"'Kay. I told her that she was beautiful and to trust me." Garrett wiped the tears running down his cheeks. "I told her to give me just one night, let me show her how special she was."

Edward shot off the bed. Head thrown back and gripping his head with his hands, he paced. His loud pants were feral. He was like a lion hunting prey, stalking its next kill.

"I took her to her bed, and made love to her. Things happened, Edward, but I subconsciously knew that it was you she was thinking about. It was you lying on top of her." Edward growled, still pacing, not looking at Garrett.

"She started crying and we stopped immediately. We weren't together long." Garrett's sporadic tears had become a heavy stream. He thought back to how his heart wrenched in pain at Bella's rejection, her love for another man was much more powerful.

"Edward? We stopped, I held her while she cried, I told her how fucking sorry I was. I didn't leave her until the next morning. I slipped out of bed, and that was the last time I saw her." Garrett tried to catch a much needed deep breath, but he was panicking and couldn't get enough air to satisfy his lungs. "I love her man. But ... but I know she's in love with you. Not ... me." The hot tears didn't stop, both Edward and Garrett, friends since forever, were at a cross roads. It would go one of two ways. Edward could choose to forgive, or choose to forget.

The pacing stopped, and Edward faced the man that had intimately joined with his _Love. _He wanted to beat him to a pulp, punish him, scar him like he had been scarred, but the man in front of him was crumbling. Fading. Losing a battle that Edward-because he was his best friend-knew all too well.

Edward decided in that moment that he could forgive. He put his hand on Garrett's shoulder as they both shook from the aftermath of crying.

It would take some time before he would forget, but the important thing right now, was to find Bella, and try to fix things with her.

It made sense to him now that it had been explained to him. He didn't blame B for the way she felt, or acted in his absence. He didn't like it one bit ... but he was also to blame. He shouldn't have taken a job away from B in the early stages of their relationship. He should have made her understand just how important she was. Staying and continuing to work for Garrett, being close to her, would have been all it would have taken.

He blamed himself.

Garrett took the blame and Bella—she was shouldering the blame as well.

Three lost, warped pieces of a puzzle were going to have to learn to fit back together again and make what was now broken whole again.

But that would require finding the most important puzzle piece.

_Bella_

**I have two** **song choices for this chapter: Sad by Maroon 5**

**Fade Into You by Mazzy Star**

**You should really listen to these songs...I love them!**

**Thank you for reading and for the kind reviews.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight; I just own this plot.**

**I cannot tell you all how much I appreciate the follows, favorites, and reviews. I read all reviews, and I listen to what you say, hence the reason I'm now putting my song choice at the beginning of each chapter. **

**Song choice: Heart Skipped a Beat by The XX **

**Big HUGS to my girls PostApocalypticDepository (my pre-reader) and Daphodill (my beta) for making this story happen. Without the time they spend on it, it wouldn't be as lovely. Thank you! XO**

**Careless Hearts**

**Chapter 6 –Heart Skipped a Beat**

The morning sun had barely risen. The skies were grey. Visibility was hazy at best with more snow falling, adding insult to injury to the day's recon mission. It was going to take some time to locate Bella, with the weather not cooperating, but they'd take it slow.

After checking out of the Twilight Motel and heading for the truck, Garrett tried to lighten the mood.

"It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey!" Garrett said as he pulled the knit cap down over his ears; his wit was already annoying Edward.

Edward avoided the remark and hoisted himself up into the cab of the truck, sitting stiffly in the passenger seat.

As Garrett was about to climb into the F250, he shook his head, his eyes fell upon the indentation on the driver's side door. He decided to shrug it off, knowing Ben, one of his employees, could push it out for him. This wasn't the first time his truck had been damaged. It was all part of the job, especially driving around a construction sites. But this was no accidental dent. It was made by pure, unadulterated anger, and really, Garrett couldn't blame Edward—even though it was Edward's foot that made the deep indentation.

Last night's confessions were hard. It kept both men up most of the night. Garrett relived, over and over, the one and only time he had Bella in his arms. Wondering if Bella even felt anything towards him anymore—friend or otherwise. He had known that if sleep finally claimed him, his phone alarm would buzz to wake him, only getting about two hours shut eye. So he tried to keep his eyes open thinking about locating Bella, but eventually he drifted off into the darkness of sleep.

Edward, on the other hand, wouldn't sleep at all. Instead, he lay on his side in the dark motel room; staring at the blank wall in front of him which seemed more interesting than replaying all the sordid details between Garrett and his _Love_. Edward thought Garrett did a pretty fine job of handing him the details on a silver fucking platter.

Knowing how Garrett and Bella had gotten together and why still didn't make Edward feel much better; instead it made his stomach churn. When his mind drifted to the actual sex act, his heart pounded, and his brow prickled with beads of perspiration. His body tensed, closing his eyes, trying to remove the sexual scene from his brain, but even that didn't help. It made it worse ... he couldn't escape the images no matter how hard he tried.

Edward worried about Bella's safety, but he also worried about her mental state. He knew her well enough to know that she was beating herself up over her and Garrett's fling. He hated not being there with her, wherever there was—helping her get through the self-loathing he knew she'd be beating herself up with.

With no sleep, Edward felt as though his body was floating, his head was heavy and his body moved as though it had a mind of its own and he was just along for the ride. It was different than the sleepless nights he was used to in the military—this situation drained him. Even though his life was on the line as a soldier, this felt more intense. _Love_ was his whole world, he'd die without her. He was filled with anxious determination to find her. He planned to drink enough coffee to stay awake on this recon mission because he had to find Bella—it was imperative.

Edward sat still in the passenger seat, silently begging the heater to warm the cab of the truck. He noticed a bottle of vodka in the back seat and was tempted to take a couple of swigs to warm his insides. Instead, he rubbed his hands together and then sat on them, hoping his body heat would do the trick. Garrett revved the engine a few times, helping the engine to warm.

"So, what's the game plan Ed?" Garrett slid his aviator glasses on his face and checked his rear view mirror before backing out. His demeanor was different today; he was humble instead of the arrogant ass of the previous day.

"Well, the other three motels are off in this direction." Edward pointed toward the way that they had come last night. "But with the snow still falling, I bet it's going to take the better part of the day to get to all three."

Garrett nodded, putting his truck in four-wheel drive before pulling back out onto the road from which they came.

"We'll make it Ed. I'll take it slow ... but we'll find her."

Edward nodded his head.

The snow packed roads were just as shitty, if not a little more so than when they arrived at the motel last night. The county road crews must have been focusing on the highway instead of the side roads into the tiny town because there were several cars stranded on the side of the road they were driving on. As they drove by, Edward checked that there were no occupants in the stuck vehicles. Bella needed finding, but he was never too busy to aid his fellow man.

Garrett shook his head at the slow pace they had set. The snowfall combined with the unplowed roads made the trek dangerous. They hadn't gone far, a few miles is all, but it had taken over an hour. The quiet of their journey was lulling them to sleep; they needed to stop for gas and a pick-me-up to help them stay alert. The filling station just off the highway would be a great place to grab a cup of coffee or two, to help them continue on their way.

"So, Ed?"

"Yeah?" Edward answered quietly. He hadn't looked in Garrett's direction since he climbed into the truck; instead he focused his attention on the passenger window on his right. Edward still wasn't comfortable in Garrett's presence, it had been less than twenty-four hours since finding out about his friend's indiscretions, but he was trying to be civil in their search for Bella.

"Shouldn't we try to contact Alice once more ... see if Bella, actually made it there?"

"We can try, but I know she's not there. There's no way her car would have made it in this snow."

"What if someone helped her get there?"

Edward's head snapped toward Garrett. "I don't think Bella would have accepted a ride from a stranger—not even in this weather, if that's what you're implying? She would have given a number to have one of us contacted instead." Edward didn't like the idea of a stranger anywhere near Bella—it did nothing for his mood this morning. If anything, it heightened his anxiety of finding her today. The need to find her grew more urgent. He needed to know that she was indeed okay.

"Try calling Bella again," Garrett suggested. "Maybe somehow she found a way to charge her phone and she'll answer." Edward knew it was a hopeful thought, but he took his phone out of the breast pocket of his coat anyway and dialed Bella. Trying to stay positive, Edward crossed his fingers in hopes she would answer. Instead, he was greeted with only a recorded message; the angelic voice brought tears to his eyes. Once again, the recording suggested he leave a message. He couldn't bring himself to leave one, though. He needed to speak to an actual person—to his _Love_.

It killed him to disconnect the call.

"No answer," Edward said quietly, mainly to himself, but he knew Garrett was listening.

"Why don't ya call Alice, maybe she'll have some good news for us." Garrett's optimistic personality was something Edward envied, it sure beat the pessimistic attitude Edward was sporting right now.

As Edward scrolled through his phone for Alice's number, Garrett pulled into the filling station and parked next to the pumps. Garrett waited until Edward dialed the phone before getting out to pump gas.

Edward reached another voicemail.

"Shit!" Hand pounded the dash when he heard Alice's much too upbeat voice. It pissed him off. He gritted his teeth while waiting for the beep, so he could leave a message. He figured Alice would, at the very least, call if she had information on where Bella was staying. He didn't trust that Bella would feel comfortable calling either Garrett or himself. In fact, now that he thought about it, she didn't even know he was home. Edward shook his head; there were too many things he wanted to tell Bella: he loved her no matter what and he was sorry for leaving her.

And that they'd work things out.

Edward left a detailed message for Alice, telling her of their recon mission to find Bella, asking her to please call if Bella made contact with her, or actually made it to her home.

Edward took a deep breath before continuing, and then he sighed. "Alice, I need to find B. If you talk to her, tell her I love her." There was a long pause, and then Edward touched the end call button, and hung his head.

Garrett had returned to the warm cab of the truck during the call, waiting for the gas tank to fill. Witnessing the end of the call, he kept his mouth shut. He didn't say anything at the defeat on Edward's face. He hung his head too, knowing that Edward hadn't gotten a hold of Alice either.

The loud click of the gas pump alerted Garrett that he needed to finish up outside so they could be on their way.

"Hey, want some coffee?" Garrett asked Edward as he put his boots back on to the snow-covered pavement before shutting his door.

Nodding, Edward replied, "More than some, I think I need the whole damn pot."

"Gotcha!" Garrett gave a thumbs up. "I'll hook us up, brother."

The word 'brother' snapped Edward out of his daze. He really needed the support of his friend, the one he called brother so many times in the past. He knew that Garrett was a stand up guy; Edward needed to start the forgiving process now.

Blinking his eyes and clearing his mind, Edward had a goal: mend his relationship with Garrett as they tried to locate Bella. Nothing would make him happier than that. Well, maybe finding Bella tonight, on Christmas Eve, would make things that much sweeter. He had to be realistic—this weather was crappy, and it would be slow going—but he could wish for a Christmas miracle, right?

As Edward made his wish for a miracle, Garrett's door opened and two drink trays full of coffees was presented to him with the biggest, cheesiest smile on Garrett's cheery face.

Edward chuckled, the first time since he had been home. It felt good.

"What the fuck, G?" Edward shook his head in disbelief. "Four coffees a piece? You are the man! Thank you!"

"I told you I'd hook a brotha up." Giving Edward a cocky smile, he climbed back into the truck and started the engine. "Let's roll, Sarge."

This time, Edward punched Garrett's arm hard. Thankfully, the coffees were sitting next to him in the drink carrier; otherwise Garrett would have been wearing his coffees instead of drinking them.

"Enough of the _Sarge_ bullshit, you fucker! If I wanted to be called that, I'd have stayed away, and finished out my missions." Garrett chuckled, his arm hurt, but he wouldn't show it—he was tough.

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Garrett's laugh roared throughout the cab, loud as a bear.

Shaking his head and groaning, Edward chuckled. "Some things never change."

"I hoped it wouldn't." Garrett responded.

Edward and Garrett bumped fists in a silent truce. Things were looking up, making Edward feel lighter.

"Now, on to the task at hand ... finding Bella." Garrett pulled the first of his coffees out of the drink tray, taking a careful sip, then made their way back out onto the snow covered road. Their trek to the first motel would be slow, at least an hour if he guessed right. But spending time with his friend was much needed. Garrett couldn't imagine they would have worked out their difficulties without being thrown together they way they had been. He silently cursed, yet thanked this seasonal, bullshit weather.

.

.

.

Bella was completely warmed through and sitting close to the hearth by the fire. The charred logs crackled, popped, and sputtered in a rhythm she had come to love. She was finally in a comfortable space mentally, relaxing and letting her mind chill. All she focused on at the moment were the recipes Sue had bookmarked in the cookbook. Bella knew she wasn't a great cook; in fact she kind of caught shit from Edward and Garrett over the years when she fixed them meals. They poked fun at her, saying they were amazed she could boil water without burning it. Bella would laugh because she knew she was no Ina Garten, but at least she tried. She had mastered the grilled cheese sandwich, and pot of chili, but the prime rib roast with goat cheese polenta and Haricot Verts that Sue would be serving Christmas Eve was above her culinary knowledge. She hadn't even heard of Haricot Verts until it rolled easily off Sue's tongue yesterday, but after reading the recipe she figured out they were a specific type of green bean. She wondered why the culinary world had a knack for making simple things sound so complicated and intimidating. This would be a learning experience, and she looked forward to it.

Stretching her arms above her head and yawning, Bella gradually slid her body from the leather couch. She was eager to get dressed and return back downstairs for her breakfast of pancakes. She hoped to be able to chat with Sue about maybe staying on to help around the Inn. It would ultimately be Quil and Leah to make the decision, if they even had an opening, but Bella wanted to speak with her newest friend Sue, first.

.

.

.

Boysenberry syrup dripped from Bella's chin as she stuffed another forkful of pancake in her mouth. She was quite certain that Sue's pancakes were the best she had ever eaten. Sue giggled and dabbed at Bella's chin before Bella could wipe it herself. Sue was such a motherly figure and the gesture seemed natural. She was completely happy in pancake paradise to worry about the dark drop of syrup making its way down her face.

"Thanks," Bella managed to say. "These are out-of-this-world."

"Sweetie, they are just pancakes." Sue smiled.

"Just pancakes?" Bella squealed, "These are amazing! I love them." She cut another bite and dragged it through the syrup, before bending over her plate to not get any more sweet syrup drips on her face.

"I'll give you the recipe and teach you how to make them. How about that?" Sue patted Bella on the arm and then scooted the chair out from the table, picking up her own plate.

Bella's mouth was full, so she nodded her head rapidly, in an enthusiastic yes.

"Okay, then. We can start food prep for tonight's dinner after we finish with lunch. Then I'll give you the secret recipe for my pancakes. You can make them for Christmas breakfast. I'll throw the casserole in the fridge tonight and all we'll have to do in the morning are the pancakes and cut up some fruit."

"Great! I think I need new recipes to spice up my life." Bella was excited to get to work in the kitchen with Sue. She hoped she would learn some recipes and sharpen her techniques. She wanted to fix something new and surprise Edward.

Her heart skipped a beat; she hadn't had one thought of either boy today, and then all of a sudden she was bombarded with images of fixing Edward a meal. Her heart suddenly ached, and she pushed her plate away.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Sue's concerned look made the thoughts of Edward dissolve.

"Um...yeah. I'm fine." Sue could see right through the fake smile on Bella's face. "I'll meet you back here for lunch, okay?" Bella stood up from the table, taking her own plate and walking to the kitchen.

"Sure, sweetie, I'll be here."

Suddenly, Bella couldn't get back to her room quickly enough. She made it to her room before she choked out a sob. She needed to figure out how she was going to deal with her feelings toward Edward, how she pushed him out of her life. Right now, she needed Garrett's broad shoulders to cry on, to make things better, his strong arms wrapped around her, but that wasn't possible. So she'd have to figure out how to deal with this on her own.

**A/N:**

**Thanks again to everyone reading and reviewing. Big thank you to Isherna Shemilliah Lewis for rec-ing my story last week on the The No Rules Twilight Fan Fic Rec Club. I wondered why I had an overwhelming amount of follows and favorites that day. Xo It was awesome!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight; I just have a new plot!**

**I appreciate each and every review, follow and favorite of my story. Thank you!**

**Song choices: I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz. Oh my goodness, look up these lyrics...perfect!**

**Skipping Stone by Amos Lee ... listen to the song. Here are the lyrics for you. **

_**I don't know if I can do this alone**_

_**Oh after all our sweet love has flown**_

_**I've been running**_

_**I've been skipping like a stone**_

_**And I don't know if I **_

_**I can do this all alone**_

_**When I met her she was standing by a door**_

_**I ain't never seen a light like that before**_

_**Now she's left me for something more sure**_

_**And I don't know if I**_

_**I can do this anymore**_

'_**Cause lovers will come, lovers will go**_

_**And it's a rare seed, ah, from which true love might grow**_

_**If you see her, won't you please say hello**_

'_**Cause I don't know if I can do this alone**_

**Thank you ApocalypticDepository for taking the time to pre-read for me, I love hearing your thoughts. Big smooches!**

**Daphodill the amazing beta...thank you! I heart you so hard! XOXO**

**Careless Hearts**

**Chapter 7-I Won't Give Up **

"Ah, shit!" Edward shouted as Garrett slowed the truck to a crawl; they wanted to see if the VW Beetle stranded on the side of the road was occupied.

Edward frowned. "Pull over G." He sounded put out, but he knew they needed to stop.

"Will do." Garrett slowly pulled over in front of the VW and parked. Both men got out of the truck quickly to lend a hand so they could continue their search for the one that meant so much to them.

The girl in the driver's seat was cradling a baby, trying to sooth him. She rolled the window down a crack as Garrett approached. Edward took the initiative to grab the rope from the tool box in the bed of the truck.

"Need some help?"

"Yes, please. I was on my way to spend Christmas Eve with my husband's family. I guess I should have stayed at home." The girl couldn't have been much over twenty years old Garrett guessed, and the baby, probably only a few months.

"Where's your husband?"

"Deployed." Tears shined in the girl's eyes. Garrett could tell she was scared being stranded all alone with her baby.

"No worries, we'll get ya pulled out. Might wanna put the baby back in his car seat. By the way, I'm Garrett, and that's Edward." Garrett motioned toward Edward. He was in the front of the Beetle, already hooking the tow rope onto the ball hitch of the truck to pull the girl out. He wanted to help, but he also wanted to find Bella, so Edward quickly did what needed to be done.

Nodding her head, she said, "I'm Vickie—this is little James."

"Nice to meet you two, now let's get ya taken care of." By this time, the other end of the rope was hooked to the front axle of the VW. Edward prayed that it would work, and they would be on their way soon.

In just a few minutes, Vickie and her son were on their way. Garrett offered to follow them to her in-laws' house, and she accepted much to Edward's dismay.

With a shitty tone, Edward voiced his concern. "Garrett, at this rate, we'll be looking for Bella for weeks."

"Come on, Edward. I can't leave this poor girl and her baby on these shitty roads and hope she makes it to where she's going. I couldn't live with myself if she got stranded again, or if something happened to them."

"I know, I'm just ... I just want to find Bella." Edward rubbed his hands over his face and looked out the window to his right. He knew it was the right thing to do, but damn it if he wasn't pissy about it.

After twenty minutes of sketchy roads, Vickie made it to her family's house.

"Thanks again!" Vickie shouted out when Edward rolled down his window to tell her goodbye.

"No problem. Have a merry Christmas." He gave her a quick smile, wishing he were at his home sprawled out on the couch with Bella tucked in next to him sharing some body heat.

"You guys too!" Vickie turned off her car just as an older man rushed out of the house to help her with the baby. He gave a wave to the guys and took the baby from Vickie's arms.

Garrett looked over to Edward, and then put the truck in reverse. "Aren't you glad we made sure they got here safely?"

"You know I am." Edward side-eyed Garrett, making him chuckle. The Edward he knew helped every Tom, Dick, and Harry he had ever met. Edward crossed his arms over his chest, and they proceeded back to the road from which they came, in search of their girl.

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.

"Feeling better, Bella?" Leah asked her as she made her way down the staircase.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. How are you today?" She figured Sue had told her about her minor mood swing at breakfast this morning. Bella rubbed her hands up and down her arms, trying to warm them. The smoky, crackling fire was calling to her. She gravitated toward the aroma of the burning logs, deciding to make a detour to the stone hearth and warm her body before meeting Sue in the kitchen.

"You haven't met Kate yet have you?" Leah asked as Bella wriggled her fingers in the direction of the flickering flames, feeling the immediate prickle of heat, toasting them quite nicely.

"Your daughter? No, I haven't met her yet. Sue said she works the night desk."

"Yeah, she does. She's been back here for a month or so."

"Back?" Bella looked at Leah in question.

"Yes, she went to New York several years ago—when she turned twenty-one. She was pursuing a modeling career, but ..." Leah gazed off, shaking her head, "...she ended up back home."

"Oh."Bella nodded; she sensed that there was more to the story, just like there was more to her story than what she was letting on. She didn't pry.

"She sleeps a bit during the day and then works the desk at night. I'm surprised you haven't run into her yet, but she'll be at dinner this evening."

"I've been in the kitchen with Sue, and then just in my room. Except when I sit by the fire—it's quickly become my most favorite place to hang out." Bella shrugged and smiled. "Well, I'm glad I'll finally be meeting Kate this evening —I hope my cooking doesn't scare her, or anyone else off." Bella and Leah laughed in unison.

"I'm sure Sue will keep a watchful eye on you, she doesn't usually allow anyone in the kitchen to help her cook. You should feel very privileged." Leah smiled, giving Bella a quick wink.

"Trust me, I do feel the watchful eye now, since I turn her kitchen into a winter wonderland yesterday with my electric mixer abilities." Bella rolled her eyes, thinking back at her sugar coated self. Leah laughed because she had heard the hysterical story from Sue.

"All right then, have a good afternoon, Bella ... oh, one more thing, Quil wanted to pull your car inside one of the tractor sheds so that it's not caked with ice and snow. If that's okay with you?"

"That would be great, thank you, I'll grab the keys." Bella ran up the stairs to retrieve the keys as Leah turned and headed back to man the front desk. The Inn wasn't busy at all; no one had checked in since Bella, so Leah kept herself busy with a knitting project.

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Sue was taking out the prime rib roast as Bella entered the kitchen.

"Hey, sweetie! Just in time for prep."

"Sounds good, what would you like help with?"Bella reached for a white apron that hung on the hook by the back door leading outside. She put the apron over her head and then tied the sides around her back in a big bow.

"Well, we need to wash and cut the veggies for the salad. Make the salad dressing and the dessert. The polenta is a cinch, and the Haricot Verts, super simple."

"That's what you say," Bella teased.

"Really. I'm not pulling your leg. There's no way you can mess up stirring cornmeal?"

"Cornmeal?"

"Polenta. It's actually cornmeal." Sue shook her head. "Girl, you have a lot of learning to do, but I'm just the person to teach you." Sue continued with the meat, unwrapping it, and putting it in the roasting pan, while Bella retrieved the veggies from the walk-in cooler.

Once the lettuces were washed, spun dried, and torn into bite sized pieces, Bella cut veggies for the salad.

Sue was impressed with the way Bella took charge of the salad. She knew it was a simple task, but Bella took her job seriously, working quickly so they could get on with the rest of the meal.

"So what did you think of the recipes I highlighted?" Sue asked, wiping down the counter and getting ready to pull out the stand mixer.

"I loved them. I'm excited to learn your secrets." Bella gave Sue a playful smile.

"It's mainly just following a recipe until you're comfortable with it, Bella, then you can put your own spin on things ..." Bella nodded her head. She completely understood that concept. "... and a little bit of love thrown in for good measure, doesn't hurt," Sue added.

The afternoon flew by. The salad was assembled; the Haricot Verts were washed and waiting in the fridge, along with the New York style cheesecake.

The idea of Bella staying on and working at the Inn was brought up as they worked. Sue loved the thought; she was having fun cooking with Bella and getting to know her. They made a pretty fine team in the kitchen, even though Bella had a lot to learn.

Bella wanted to go back to her room and put on a fresh set of clothes since she had managed to get some food on her jeans and the sleeves of her shirt. She didn't have anything fancy to wear, so she hoped it would be a casual dinner amongst friends, enjoying one another's company.

.

.

Edward was not happy. Garrett was on edge as well, mostly from dealing with Edward's nasty attitude. But when they continued on their way to the next motel, more cars were stranded on the side of the road. Not all had occupants, but three needed help.

"I swear to God, if we see one more stranded car I'm going to come unglued."Edward was not handling this day with any finesse. His sole focus was to find Bella. He had no desire to stop and help the innocent people stranded—but he would do it because he couldn't see people in distress and not help. Besides, Garrett was driving, and he would have stopped regardless. He said so himself.

"I'm going to close my eyes from here on out," Edward huffed.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Garrett shook his head and rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what Edward was saying.

"I'm not helping anyone else, I swear."He sounded so childish, but he felt as though he had done his duty helping all day long.

"Well, put it this way—you're in my truck, and I'm driving. So pretty much, you're at my mercy." Garrett knew that wouldn't sit well with Edward, but Edward wasn't calling the shots.

Edward sat silent. Luckily, they were able to make their way to the next two motels with no problem. Of course, no Bella Swan had checked in. They were able to convince the clerks that they were trying to locate a family member, so the information they needed was given freely.

In between the last two motels, they helped two more vehicles out of the snow, and jump started a third.

"Headed to the last motel, keep your fingers crossed that all the crazies are off the road." Garrett crossed his fingers, shaking them in Edward's line of vision. "To be honest, I'm ready to stop swooping in like Superman and saving the day," Garrett said with enthusiasm so Edward would at least perk up and relax a bit.

"I was ready to stop before noon." He looked at the clock on the truck stereo. "And now it's midnight, I need a hot shower and some sleep," Edward complained. "Hopefully tomorrow will bring some good news."

"I have a feeling things will start looking up. Positive attitude and all that shit, right?" Garrett elbowed Edward in the arm.

"Yeah, and all that shit," Edward repeated.

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.

The dining room was gorgeous. Leah and Quil had managed to decorate the table while Bella and Sue cooked the afternoon away.

The center of the large table was decorated with a natural-colored burlap runner and fresh greenery, pinecones, ribbons, and red candles placed randomly throughout. The smell of the pine greenery made the room smell like Christmas. It brought back memories of happy times for Bella. Her mom used to make a pine centerpiece every year for their Christmas dinner table, bringing out the fine china, as well. Bella didn't let those memories make her sad. Instead, she smiled and embraced the fact that she had them to cherish.

Everyone was seated at the table enjoying their meal. Bella sat in between Sue and Seth; across the table from her were Quil, Leah and Kate. The conversation flowed easily, as did the wine. The meal was delicious, and praise was given repeatedly to Bella and Sue. They smiled and thanked everyone, giggling amongst themselves at the near accident of polenta-gate. Bella had taken the oatmeal off the shelf rather than the cornmeal, scooping up the desired amount the recipe called for almost pouring it into the boiling chicken stock. Luckily Sue noticed her near mistake and the cornmeal was quickly replaced, and the dish was saved.

During dinner, Bella learned that Kate had signed on to a modeling agency in New York when she was twenty-one, and was quite busy for awhile until she quit. Kate struck Bella as a take-charge-kind-of-girl that wouldn't put up with any bullshit from anyone. For reasons not discussed in depth at Christmas Eve dinner, Kate decided she could live without the fast-paced life of New York and the sometimes shady business of modeling. She mumbled something about a 'casting couch,' and Bella was almost positive Kate was not one to sleep around to progress her career. She was a strikingly beautiful blonde with crystal blue eyes; she shouldn't have had to do unsavory things to make it big. So, basically Kate had told the agency to 'shove it where the sun don't shine,' her words, and came straight home.

Quil and Leah were happy to have their daughter home again and fortunate for the help she was giving them working the night shift.

Dinner and dessert were finished, and the platters of cookies were sitting on the coffee tables around the Lodge room, waiting to be nibbled on.

"It was so nice to meet you Kate." Bella hugged her newest friend.

"You too Bella, I'm glad you've been keeping Aunt Sue company in the kitchen. The meal was fabulous! The cookies look delicious as well, but I'm so stuffed, I can't eat another bite."

"I'm with you; I think I hear my bed calling. I should waddle up there now." The two girls giggled, making heads turn in their direction. "I offered to help with Christmas morning breakfast so, I'm going to go on to bed now," Bella said. "I'll see you tomorrow?" The girls hugged once more. Kate seemed really nice. Someone she wanted to get to know better. She needed girlfriends. Since forever she had only really hung out with Garrett and Edward, but tonight she truly met a nice girl that she could call a friend.

"My shift is over at five a.m., so I'll catch a few hours of sleep and see you at breakfast," Kate promised.

Bella said goodnight to everyone else and slowly walked to her room. A hot shower sounded divine, and the soft down of her comforter called her name. It was nearing midnight; she was tired and needed some sleep.

Kate, on the other hand, made her way to the front desk, picking up the phone when she got there, checking to see if the lines were working—they weren't. The only thing occupying Kate tonight would be the mystery novel she was engrossed in and the need to stoke the fire, putting a few logs on as they burned down. She doubted anyone would be checking in on Christmas Eve, so she settled down into her chair, taking out her paperback from behind the desk.

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The tiny bell above the door to the Inn jingled as two men hurriedly walked in, startling Kate.

"Oh!" Kate's hand flew to her chest, patting her fingers over her heart. "You two startled me!" She had just read a part in her mystery novel that gave her goose bumps. And on cue, the door opened, and a gust of wind billowed in, making Kate shiver as it rushed past her.

She stood, greeting the men. "Good evening. Need a few rooms, gentlemen?" Kate smiled as the men rubbed their hands together.

Simultaneously both men apologized. "Sorry ... yes."

"I was engrossed in my book, thinking we wouldn't have any new guests this evening." She shook her head trying to get her wits about her.

"We need two rooms, if you have them." Garrett smiled sheepishly. He felt sorry for the girl that still looked as though she was trying to catch her breath from her scare.

"Yes, we definitely have two rooms available."

This time, Edward piped up. "We'll take 'em." He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket; while Garrett stood stock still for a second, still eyeing the blonde in front of them. There was something about her that Garrett found intriguing.

Garrett finally took his worn leather wallet from his back pocket, as well, pulling out his credit card and handing it to the girl.

"I got this," Edward said, as he pushed Garrett's card back toward him. "We've been using your truck and gas, it's the least I can do."

"I'm good. Here." Garrett once again tried to hand Kate his card.

"Always so difficult," Edward grumbled, snatching the card out of Kate's fingers, replacing it with his card. He then took his cap off, running his fingers through the wildness of his hair.

"Look who's talking." Garrett held his hands up in surrender, letting Edward pay for the rooms.

"Okay, boys. Let's get this taken care of, so you two can go on to bed." Kate smiled. She had a bit of whiplash from looking at each man as they went back and forth. She thought it was kind of cute that they were arguing over who would pay for the rooms. If she only knew what they had just fought over ... this was small peanuts compared to the fist that Edward had thrown Garrett's way a day ago.

"I'm going to go warm up by the fire for a few minutes." Garrett eyed the floor-to-ceiling fireplace; it was beautiful. The fire was dying down, so he thought he'd throw a log on... if the girl wanted him to.

"Mind if I throw a log or two on the fire?" Garrett looked over his shoulder at Kate as he walked toward the hearth.

"Sure, sorry, I was supposed to keep an eye on that, but obviously I got caught up in my book."Her voice was one of the sweetest sounds Garrett had heard as of late.

"No problem, I'd be more than happy to help. Plus I'm cold, I need the warmth." Garrett continued toward the fire, winking at Kate as he passed. His footsteps faltered for a moment, realizing what he had done. But it felt right in that moment.

Kate had never blushed a day in her life, but all of a sudden her eyes were now looking at the man walking away from her, she was mesmerized by him. It didn't help that he just winked at her, and she took his last comment as ... a come on? She wasn't sure. She was tired and all, but she was sure it was some sort of innuendo. She shrugged and turned her attention back to the solemn man in front of her.

"Here you go, Mr. Masen. You have two rooms. You'll go up the staircase, and the first room on your right is number one, number nine is at the end of the hall. Take your pick; it looks like your friend is pretty comfy over there by the fire.

Edward turned his head, and Garrett was now sprawled out on the leather couch directly in front of the roaring fire. He sure knew how to make a fire burn, and how to make himself comfortable. That last thought sent a flicker of anger through his body, but Edward ignored it just as soon as it popped in his head.

"Sounds good, thank you." Edward put his card back into his wallet, returning it to his back pocket. He kept the key to room nine, leaving the other key on the desk for Garrett.

"Oh, and, by the way, I'm Kate. We serve breakfast in the dining hall at eight a.m. sharp." She smiled brightly. "But honestly, my Aunt Sue won't let anyone go hungry, so whenever you make it down to eat is fine." She gave another pretty smile, and then settled herself back into her chair to read.

Edward gave her another tight smile and retreated toward the staircase. He told Garrett, as he walked past him, that the key to his room was with Kate, the clerk.

"Thanks Ed. I'm going to relax here for a few. See ya tomorrow." Garrett closed his eyes for a brief moment, listening to the crackling, hissing, and popping music of the logs.

In Edward's haste to get into a hot shower and claim some much needed sleep, and Garrett's desire to relax by the fire, they forgot to ask Kate if a Bella Swan had checked in.

Exhaustion had become a distraction.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, but I own this plot. **

**Apologies to Daphodill my beta. This chapter was a mess, but she waved her wand and helped me through it. Thank you so much sweets!**

**And to my pre-reader ApocalypticDepository, thank you! I hEaRt YoU hArD!**

**Song choices for this chapter: **

**Far Away by Nickelback **

**All of Me by John Legend**

**Careless Hearts**

**Chapter 8-All of Me**

Edward made his way to room nine at the end of the hall of the Broken Road Inn where he and Garrett had checked into for the night.

The day seemed like it went on forever.

From before sun up to past sun down, Edward and Garrett had done nothing but rescue stranded drivers. Now, blessedly, it was time for some much needed and well-earned sleep.

On their quest to find their missing puzzle piece, Edward and Garrett helped at least a dozen poor souls who were stranded on the side of roads or in ditches.

Time dragged on until Edward and Garrett found themselves in the wee morning hours of Christmas Day. It was dark and cold, and Edward was completely spent; he needed a hot shower and a warm bed. Garrett, though, had already made himself at comfortable by the fire.

When Edward fit the key into the lock on the door, his senses were piqued. Something was familiar to him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Whatever it was sent a chill running up his spine. Attributing the sensation to the cold temperatures and his wet jeans, he opened the door and flipped on the light. He had no luggage—just the two shirts and coat on his back and the jeans covering his legs.

Edward hated the feeling of wet clothing on his body. It was something he dealt with frequently on military assignments, going days soaked and chilled to the bone—which then reminded him that his career choice was the reason for losing Bella. He took a deep breath, trying to rid himself of the ominous feeling he held deep in the pit of his stomach, but relief did not claim him.

Undressing quickly, Edward hung his wet jeans on the back of the chair to dry. He wanted to hang them by the fire that Garrett had so eagerly stoked, but he wasn't going to go gallivanting anywhere wearing the complimentary robe he noticed laying on the bed. The fire had looked inviting, but now wasn't the time to enjoy it. Finding Bella was Edward's first priority. If he didn't _have_ to sleep, he wouldn't, if that meant locating his love that much faster. He sure as hell wasn't going to pretend like he was on vacation while Bella was god-knows-where.

Edward's sore, wet feet carried him in the direction of the bathroom. A hot shower would surely give him the warmth he craved.

With the hot water turned full bore, Edward still couldn't lose the chill he'd felt since he stepped into room nine; he shivered under the spray. The nearly scalding water felt like pin-pricks, providing no relief. He stood there a few more minutes before methodically washing his hair and body. As the frothy shampoo sluiced down him, he swore that he heard a single cry from his _Love_.

His mind was surely playing tricks on him; he was in a state of exhaustion and knew he needed to get to bed before his body gave out. He was eager to fall into a deep and dreamless sleep.

Last night was hell. Finding out details of his _Love_ with his best friend gutted him. He deserved one night of nothingness—only sleep—to refresh his tired body and most definitely his soul. Although, he wasn't fooling himself, Edward needed more than a good night's sleep to heal his soul and come to terms with Bella breaking up with him.

Bella leaving her promise ring in the pink letter stuffed in his mail slot, and running away was devastating. He'd be strong; it was his only defense until he could find her. He wasn't going to crumble, not yet anyway. He couldn't imagine where she could be right now, but Edward hoped and prayed she was someplace safe and warm, and not beating herself up. _When _he found her—not _if_—when Edward found her, he would help Bella to understand what happened between she and Garrett would not affect_ them_ and the bond they shared.

How could he convince Bella of this when he wasn't quite sure of it himself?

It was a hard pill to swallow, listening to Garrett last night. But Edward put himself in Garrett's shoes, and figured he would have done the same. _Maybe._ Garrett only did what Edward asked of him every time he was deployed: pick up the slack and keep Bella happy. This time was no different, except Garrett took it too far.

Edward had had a long day riding in the truck—plenty of time to think about all the details and dream up scenarios that took place in his absence. He had been going back and forth with his resolve of forgiving Garrett all day and somehow felt as if he were at square one.

Edward told himself that the affair didn't matter. But it did, and if he couldn't put it in the past and move on, they wouldn't have a chance in hell of repairing the bond between them. The angst and blame that he harbored would have to be set aside or be dealt with before their relationship could be salvaged.

He dragged the towel over his tired, wet body, wiping the droplets of moisture away as he walked to the bed. He didn't bother putting on his underwear, and slipped under the soft flannel sheets and thick, fluffy down comforter. Edward didn't even remember closing his eyes and falling asleep.

His wish for a rejuvenating sleep was not granted. Edward's night was filled with a twisting, restless slumber, accompanied by dreams of Bella's muffled cries. He wanted to console her with the warmth and weight of his arms; he wanted to hug her tight, kiss her, ease her pain, and wipe her tears. But this was a figment of his imagination, and he could not do anything of the sort.

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Sizzling sounds and crackling pops woke Garrett from his cat nap. He slowly sat up. Rubbing his hands over his face, he tried to remember where he was. It took a few seconds, and the voice of the blonde girl Kate, to get his wits about him. He had fallen asleep on the leather couch by the fire.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Kate asked; the iron poker in her hand was red hot. She had stoked the fire to help keep her newest boarder warm. Plus, she wanted to take a closer look at the man. He was strikingly handsome with his rugged, scruffy face, and she felt the need to be near him. Just for a few minutes.

"Yes ... I mean, no. I just heard the sounds of the fire." Garrett groggily rubbed his face again, offering a closed mouthed smile to Kate.

"I have your key at the desk. You should go upstairs and sleep. I told your friend that breakfast is served at eight a.m. in the dining hall. My aunt is a really good cook. You don't want to miss out."

"Sounds good. I think I'll take your advice."

Garrett stood, and as he did, Kate looked up into his eyes. They were kind eyes—eyes that she would trust in a heartbeat. They drew her in,—not repelled her like some others she had met. They weren't _lying _eyes like so many she dealt with while she resided in New York. _They were trustworthy._ She gazed just a bit too long, and Garrett actually broke the spell, noticing she was lingering.

"Okay, g'night, Kate, Thank you."

"Um, okay, then. I'll be sleeping when you check out so ..." Kate's tried to keep her eyes on his, but instead, her eyes cascaded down Garrett's body until they reached the rug-covered floor. She liked what she saw, she was at a loss for words. "...so, it was nice meeting you." She stuck her hand out to shake his hand. She just wanted to touch him, for him to touch her, to prolong his presence. She was being ridiculous. What was this anyway? She was tired, and lonely, and yeah—probably just tired.

Garrett extended his arm, wrapping his large hand around her small one. He shook it and stopped, but did not release his hold.

"Sleeping? You live here?"He absentmindedly skimmed his thumb back and forth over her knuckles.

"Yes. My parents own the Inn, and I work the night desk from midnight to five a.m." She glanced at the clock hanging over the desk. "I occupy number eight upstairs, and ... it looks like I have another hour until I can get some sleep, too." Kate's smile lit up the darkened room and the dimmed embers in Garrett's heart. Her eyes sparkled in the fire light. All of a sudden, she looked back to the rug; a foreign feeling of shyness had taken over her. She had never experienced shyness before—not in her former line of work. Kate was used to eyes ogling her, people seeing her naked as they dressed her in the perfect designer clothing for photo shoots, her bare face on display until the makeup artists painted her into flawless art. Nothing seemed to make her shy, not until ... him.

"I see, well—thank you again for your hospitality. I'm happy you had rooms available for us. It was nice meeting you, too." He released her hand; a feeling of loss briefly flashed through him, but he shook it off, chalking it up to being tired and needing a bed to drift off in.

"Okay, goodnight then." Kate walked back to the desk and picked up her novel, pulling her bookmark from between the worn pages. She stole a glance at Garrett one last time. Warmness spread through her body—she liked it. It had been awhile since she had felt this way about another man. Garrett was at the staircase when he noticed Kate's eyes on him; he gave a small wave and a quick wink, continuing up the stairs. She looked away quickly—awkwardly.

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When Sue walked into the kitchen through the back door, Bella greeted her with cheeriness. "Good morning, Sue and Merry Christmas."

"Good morning, and Merry Christmas to you, too. It's cold out there," Sue exclaimed and shivered as she swapped her coat for an apron hanging by the back door.

Even with the restless sleep Bella suffered through the night before, she was up at the crack of dawn. Coffee was already brewing, and she was cutting fruit when Sue finally arrived. The snow had stopped falling at some point during the night, but Sue still had quite a trek to the Inn from her cabin. Bella had watched Seth clearing a path earlier so his mother could make it to the kitchen.

"Well aren't you an eager student? Ready to learn, are you?" Sue took a mug from the shelf, grateful for the coffee. "I thought for sure I was the only one up at this hour."

"I'm ready to learn _Sue's Secret Pancake Recipe_, plus I didn't sleep very well last night." Bella added the oranges and strawberries to the large bowl. She had already cut up the melon and pears; the bananas were next.

"Just kidding, sweetie. I knew you'd be here and ready to help. I wrote the recipe down for you." Sue took a pretty lime green recipe card from her pocket and handed it to Bella. "But why didn't you sleep well?" Sue looked concerned.

"Thank you—I don't know, really. I just had this odd feeling. My mind was humming, and it wouldn't turn off. I finally drifted off to sleep, but it had to have been around three o'clock. At least that's the last time I remember looking at the clock." Bella placed the last of the fruit in the bowl. "Let's get this party started, what do ya say?" Bella joked.

Sue laughed and agreed.

"Oh—there was a note on the kitchen door from Kate. It said two people checked in early this morning, so we should account for them being here for breakfast."

"Great, let's get started then."

Sue rattled off the pancake ingredients to Bella. She couldn't believe how easy the recipe was and would definitely keep the recipe card safely tucked away in a cookbook for later use.

Sue entered the dining room to serve coffee, noticing only one guest sitting with Leah and Quil. The guest was grinning from ear to ear while Quil over-embellished one of his favorite hunting stories. He looked like a nice young man. Sue introduced herself, to which the young man reciprocated, standing to shake her hand.

Bella watched the bacon sizzle alongside the fluffy pancakes on the griddle. It was a soothing sound to her. In the few days she had been at the Inn, cooking was her favorite part; it took her mind off her worries. Sue started serving while Bella finished up with the last of the pancakes. Just in case the other guest and Seth showed up for their meal.

The coffee was low, so Bella took a few minutes to brew yet another pot as Sue carted off three plates to the dining room. When Sue returned minutes later, she had the silliest smile on her face.

"What?" Bella questioned the second Sue stepped foot back into the kitchen.

"Oh—I think the _guest _is in love with your pancakes." Sue winked.

"Ya don't say?" Bella raised an eyebrow, at Sue's giddiness. "But—it's_ your_ recipe, and you partially helped this morning. So maybe the new guest in is love with _your _pancakes," Bella teased.

"I told him I'd give compliments to the chef, but then again, I think you ought to thank him yourself."

Sue's eyebrows lifted in response to Bella's lifted one, almost challenging Bella to greet the guest, and offer him a thank you for his compliment.

"You are so mysterious, Miss Sue."Bella shook her head as she flipped the last two pancakes.

"I think he could be someone you could have some fun with is all." Sue tried to hide a smile but failed miserably.

"You could tell all that in what? three minutes?" Bella shook her head at Sue. Bella wondered if she looked_ that_ desperate. Sue sensed that the reason Bella was in no hurry to leave the Inn was because she had been burned by something or somebody. After meeting the young man in the dining hall—even though it was mere minutes—Sue thought he could help take Bella's mind off her past trouble.

"All I'm saying, sweetie, is talk to the man—It can't hurt—thank him for the compliment. That's all."

"What are you? E-Harmony?" Bella rolled her eyes at a giggly Sue and turned to place the pancakes on the plates.

Sue turned on her heels, taking the pitcher of juice with her, humming as she left the kitchen.

Bella couldn't fathom even talking to another man this soon after breaking up with Edward and ignoring Garrett to the point of running away. That's how she had ended up at the Inn and in this kitchen; Sue just needed to keep her nose in her own business. She hadn't given Sue any solid details on her love life, except that it was complicated, and she was working through some things.

It was a happy accident that Bella had ended up at the Broken Road Inn. She had learned more about herself in the past few days than she had her whole life. It was liberating being away from the boys for the first time. It's not that they were bad for her, but she never learned what she was made of with them always there to not let her fall. It was both scary and thrilling that she was taking her first few steps on her own, deciding for herself what to do with her life.

The return humming brought Bella out of her distant thoughts, and she quickly recovered her casual demeanor from earlier.

"Breakfast is officially cooked, and I'm officially starved." Bella picked up her plate, ready to sit and enjoy herself in the dining hall with her friends. "Let's eat."

"I saved you a spot by the food critic." Sue couldn't contain her mirth.

"You are something else, you know that?" Bella rolled her eyes at Sue and pushed her way through the kitchen door. As she entered the dining hall, her ear drums picked up the smooth tenor of a voice she had heard time and time again, vibrating with familiarity, and sending a volt of regret directly through her heart. Her eyes immediately locked onto the source.

She stopped dead in her tracks.


End file.
